


only the good die young

by Fives (janfives90)



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: F/F, Robin Hood AU, warnings: violence and references to torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-11 19:02:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 32,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19932979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janfives90/pseuds/Fives
Summary: Lady Alyssa Greene wants nothing more than to convince her fellow nobles to improve the living conditions of the villages around their wealthy manors.The thief robbing them and their tax wagons has a much more direct approach.And Emma Nolan?Emma Nolan hopes that her childhood love never finds out who is under the hood.





	1. the ghost you are to me (we are who we are)

Lady Alyssa Greene, daughter of Baroness Veronica Greene, heir to the barony of Water’s Edge, was one critique away from throwing her mother into a lake.

“You are twenty-four, Alyssa. Your duties here are only going to continue to increase. You have to start being more attentive of public events and governmental responsibility.”

“Mother,” Alyssa sighed as she pulled on boots behind a thin changing curtain, “I have told you a hundred times. I _am_ paying attention. I pay far better attention than Shelby or Kaylee do.”

“Your friends are not _my daughters_. You have to be the _best_.”

“I understand, Mother.”

“I really hope you do, Alyssa. We are finally replacing that _awful_ theatre group in the castle with musicians. Hopefully it will bring more class to our events. The other nobles looked so _bored_.”

“Wonder why,” Alyssa mumbled under her breath.

“What was that, dear?”

“Nothing, Mother.”

She could hear the baroness moving around her room, clicking her tongue at each and every item that wasn’t in perfect position. “What is it that you are doing this afternoon?”

“I am just going for a walk on the grounds, Mother. Nothing dangerous.”

“Hm. When you return, you should get this room straightened. It is _filthy_.”

Alyssa barely resisted the urge to ask who exactly was going to be seeing her room or how they would notice the single speck of dust that could have gotten there since she had cleaned the day before.

Baroness Greene left the room, and Alyssa shoved the curtain aside, grabbing the soft, pale red tunic she kept in her wardrobe. She slid a matching red leather vest over it, checked to make sure her mother wasn’t waiting outside the door for her to leave, and jumped out of the window into the hay cart below.

Trent Oliver, one of their carriage drivers, leaned against the back of the cart’s seat. “Are you sure this is a good idea, m’lady? When I was in bard college we snuck out once, and I still don’t know where three of the other students went.”

Alyssa laughed and jumped into the seat next to him. “Don’t be so pessimistic, Trent. It’ll be fine. It’s just some adventure. What’s life without a bit of that, right?”

“If you say so, m’lady.”

“Trent.”

“M’lady?”

“Please. I beg you. Call me Alyssa.”

* * *

The cart moved into the small village near the manor, and Alyssa set a gloved hand on top of Trent’s arm.

“I forget,” she murmured. “That’s why I come out here. I forget what it’s like.”

The roads were thin and filthy. Mud was caked against the side of houses, plastered against shutters, holding them closed. On almost every corner, children were huddled together, trying to beg food and gold off of strangers. Holes in rooves were left unrepaired despite the chill of the fading winter, only blocked from the wind by thin sheets and strips of unrefined leather.

“How can we leave it like this?” Alyssa said, her voice soft enough that only Trent can hear her. “I don’t understand it, Trent.”

“If I can speak honestly, m’lady Alyssa?”

“Try again.”

“If I can speak honestly, Alyssa?”

“Of course.”

“They care more about stockpiling for the future than taking care of the present.” Trent gave her a sideways glance. “Your mother in particular, for fear that you’ll struggle.”

“I would rather have people than power,” Alyssa muttered.

“If you can convince your mother of that, m’l-… _Alyssa,_ you might end up the greatest baroness this land has ever seen.”

* * *

Alyssa pulled off her gloves and tucked them into her pocket as she stepped into the tavern, ducking as a tankard flew over her head and smashed into the wall.

“Sorry!” A man ran over to her, a fiddle tucked under his arm. “I was trying to throw it to Sheldon to refill, and I have horrible aim.”

“It’s not a problem,” Alyssa said, picking the tankard up and passing it to him.

He shook her hand firmly and grinned. “Barry Glickman, bard of Broadway.” He pointed over his shoulder with his thumb as a small group occupying a nearby table. “We’re a group of musicians.”

“I had heard that musicians were going to be going to the manor,” Alyssa said carefully.

“Yes. Some sort of deal with the baroness. Odd jobs when there isn’t entertainment; entertainment when it’s needed.” Barry winked at her. “Work is work.” He turned and walked over to the bar, slapping a hand on the shoulder of another man who had been conversing with the barkeep.

Alyssa laughed quietly and let her gaze shift to the group of musicians. It was a small collection, only two women in addition to Barry and the other man – Sheldon – but they were lively enough that they caught Alyssa’s interest. A blonde next to a recorder seemed to be having, and winning, a drinking contest with a burly man in the clothes of a mason. The brunette woman, who didn’t seem to have an instrument, was talking to a group of tired-looking housewives, making them laugh with a story Alyssa couldn’t hear, her hands moving wildly.

It was only when Barry returned to the group with a new tankard that Alyssa realized that there was another member to the little group.

There was another blonde woman, this one with short hair, sitting towards the back, keeping to herself as she restrung a mandolin. She was wearing green leather boots, brown trousers, a green doublet, and a brown leather jerkin. Something about her seemed familiar, but Alyssa couldn’t quite place it, until the woman looked up to respond to Barry.

Alyssa got a sudden flash of her first kiss, hands and teeth and tongues and _heat_ on the riverbank.

Fourteen years old and in love for the first – and, thus far, only – time in her life.

_Emma Nolan._

* * *

Alyssa paced behind the tavern, so caught up in her own private whirlwind of emotions that she didn’t notice the two drunken men stumbling towards her.

“Hey,” one of them slurred, swaying way too close. “Whassa pre’y girllike you doin’ bak ‘ere?”

Alyssa took a small step backwards, unintentionally getting closer to the other man. “Uhm, would you mind… Uh…”

A dagger buzzed past the head of the man in front of her, clipping his ear before embedding in a shutter behind Alyssa. Emma was standing behind them, leaning against the stone wall of the back of the tavern, casually flipping another dagger in her right hand.

“One dagger and two of you isn’t great odds, but which of you wants to be the one who dies?”

The two men exchanged a glance, the first one rubbing his bleeding ear, and then they both quickly walked out of the alley.

“Thank you,” Alyssa said quietly. “Though I had that under control.”

“Of course you did.” Emma walked past her and pulled the other dagger out of the shutter before sliding them both back into sheaths on the belt around her waist. “Lady Alyssa Greene, queen of diplomacy.”

Alyssa felt herself shiver. “I… didn’t know if you remembered me.”

“Not to be rude, m’lady, but I wasn’t going to forget a first kiss that… _memorable_.”

“You say that as if it were inappropriate, Miss Nolan,” Alyssa replied, wincing as she heard herself slip into her formal tone.

Emma raised an eyebrow. “I did not mean to make you uncomfortable, Lady Alyssa. After all, I am only a mere mortal in the presence of a goddess.”

“You’re making fun of me,” Alyssa said, annoyed.

“You used to make fun of you, too,” Emma replied, her voice soft. She gave a small half bow and smirked up at Alyssa.

Alyssa hated how much it made her heart and head twist up into knots.

“I apologize for taking up so much of your time, m’lady. I will return to my group and cease from bothering you.”

“You’re annoying,” Alyssa muttered. “I don’t remember why I kissed you. I must have been young and dumb.”

“Perhaps. Beautiful, though.” Emma grinned and gave another bow, this one with an over-the-top flourish of her hand, and walked back into the tavern.

Alyssa rubbed the spot on her chest where she could feel her heartbeat pounding. “No,” she whispered. “Stop it.”

* * *

When the Broadway were at the manor the next morning, and her mother was introducing them to Alyssa as the new on-site entertainers and help, Alyssa realized that her life was probably over.

Emma was off to the side, just like in the tavern, but instead of looking aloof she instead appeared to be nervous. She was fidgeting with her glasses, repeatedly pushing them up on her nose, and her shoulders were pulled in to her body.

Baroness Greene’s gaze landed on her, and her eyes narrowed. “Miss Nolan.”

“Y-Yes, m’lady?” Emma stammered.

_Stammered?_

“You look familiar. Have you been here before?”

“I-I used to live in Water’s Edge as a child, m’lady.”

“That is right.” Baroness Greene’s voice took on a chilly edge. “I remember you now.”

Emma bowed her head, staring down at her boots.

“Well. Welcome back to your homeland, Miss Nolan. I hope your second stay is preferable to your first.”

Alyssa saw Emma’s jaw clench, just slightly. “I hope so as well, m’lady.”

* * *

Alyssa leaned on her windowsill, enjoying the afternoon breeze.

She had successfully avoided Emma for the entire first week. It had helped that her mother seemed determined to keep them separated – maybe she really _did_ remember Emma – but what had also helped was that Emma seemed determined to avoid _her_.

Things did not make sense with Emma Nolan, and it bothered Alyssa down to the very core of her being.

In the alley, she had been the same sarcastic, cocky, fun woman that Alyssa had remembered.

From the moment she had walked away, it was as if a different person had taken her place.

Alyssa watched as Shelby and Kaylee, her best friends since birth, met Emma on the grounds below her window. They each shoved the reins from their horses into Emma’s hands, and she stumbled, the thin leather slipping from her grip. She fell backwards into the dirt, and then scrambled to her feet to chase the horses down.

Fourteen-year-old Emma Nolan wasn’t nervous around horses.

Fourteen-year-old Emma Nolan didn’t need glasses.

Alyssa rubbed at her eyes and turned away.

“That’s enough, Alyssa,” she whispered to her empty room. “You have spent enough of your life worrying over Emma Nolan. This is _enough_ , and you _are not doing this again_.”

She was fairly certain even the room didn’t believe her.

* * *

“Mother, I do not need an escort to go to the _market_ ,” Alyssa groaned as Baroness Greene shoved a very confused Nick at her. “Sir Nicholas has enough to do around here; he does not need to watch my every move as well.”

“The market is a very dangerous place for people like us, Alyssa,” Baroness Greene said sternly. “There is a very good reason that you have men assigned to you specifically, and this is exactly it. If Sir Nicholas does not go, neither do you.”

Alyssa stopped herself from rolling her eyes. “Alright, Mother. What is it that you need?”

“Three rolls of fine silk. Choose the color yourself; that part is not important. We just need some new dresses for the spring.”

“Yes, Mother.”

Once they were out the door, Alyssa sighed. “No offense, Nick.”

“None taken. I don’t really want to go, either.”

“You could always-”

“Alyssa,” Nick interrupted. “If we both don’t go, your mother will kill us.”

Alyssa sighed again. “You’re probably not even being dramatic.”

* * *

“So I told Lady Kaylee that I wanted to bring her to the tavern for a drink, but she was busy talking to Lady Shelby and ignored me, and then I tried to get her attention by tapping her on the shoulder and she _punched me_ and I don’t know if you knew this but she has a really good right hook, but anyway Shelby and Kevin were laughing at me and I really don’t know what to do so-”

“Nick.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but please… please, stop.”

“Yeah, yeah, I will, but I just want to tell you this one thing, because Kaylee was-”

Alyssa sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She walked a few steps ahead, until she heard Nick suddenly go quiet. “Did you suddenly figure out that-”

She turned around and froze when she saw Nick, standing in the middle of the road with a sword pressed against his neck.

The man holding it glared at Alyssa. “Your gold. Drop it.”

Alyssa took the small pouch out of her pocket and slowly set it on the road. The man pressed the blade further against Nick’s throat. “You?”

“I-I don’t have any gold,” Nick stammered. “Just a sword.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Alyssa could see three more men walk out of the trees to surround them.

“That can’t be the only gold you have,” the first man said, looking between the two of them. “We followed you. You came from the manor.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Alyssa said. “We’re only out to run to the market briefly. There’s only enough gold for this trip.”

The man pushed the sword even further, until a thin trickle of blood dripped from Nick’s skin. “Fine then. We’ll keep the boy and send you to get _more_.”

“I would say that I’m a man,” Nick muttered.

“Shut up, Nick,” Alyssa hissed.

Alyssa looked around at the four men, calculating her options. Nick would never be able to draw his sword in time. She carried no weapons. There was no way either of them would be allowed to live, even if she went back to the manor for more gold.

She glanced over her shoulder and saw a small boy only a few feet behind them, cowering by the bridge and she looked away quickly.

If this was going to go downhill, at the very least they could do their best to avoid dragging innocents into it.

Before she could think through what to do, and arrow streaked to the air, hitting the first man in the wrist and making him drop his sword. Nick drew his own sword instantly, spinning around and hitting the robber in the head with the hilt.

Three more arrows streaked forward, and Alyssa watched in amazement as each of them sliced the swordbelts off of the three men who were surrounding her. There was a soft sound of grass crunching down, and a figure stepped out of the trees.

Alyssa could see black leather boots, blue-gray pants, and a black leather jerkin, but the rest of the stranger’s clothing was hidden by a black cloak that was pulled up to cover the nose and mouth, the hood pulled up to shadow the eyes. A bow was in their right hand, and they nocked another arrow, aiming it calmly.

“Go,” one of the three men said. _“Go!”_

The three remaining robbers sprinted into the forest on the opposite side of the road, leaving their swords behind on the ground.

Alyssa watched the stranger as Nick tied a rope around the wrists of the first man. “Thank you,” she said. “We would have not been able to escape that situation without your help.”

The stranger took a few steps towards her, still silent. They did a short, flourished half-bow.

Then used the bow in their grip to flip the bag of coins off of the ground and into their own hand.

Alyssa spluttered, completely caught off guard. The stranger took off, sprinting down the road. She saw them take one of the gold pieces from the bag and toss it to the boy, then they hopped up onto the edge of the bridge and jumped off of it.

 _“Hey!”_ Nick started to give chase, but Alyssa caught him by the arm.

“Don’t. It’s okay. It’s just a few pieces of gold. It’s not worth hurling yourself off of a bridge, Nick. Let’s get this one back to the manor.”

Nick sighed and nodded. “Yes, m’lady.” He gave her a sheepish look. “I am sorry, m’lady.”

“Nick. There was four of them. Even if you had reacted, I don’t think we would’ve had a chance. Let’s just go home.”

As she waited for Nick to drag the first robber to his feet, Alyssa watched the boy stare down at his gold coin in amazement.

For some reason, the thief had _amused_ her. She had been robbed by her rescuer, and, though she would never show it, she thought it was one of the funniest things to have ever happened to her.

The smarter part of her brain, however, knew that it would never be that simple.


	2. i want you back (love bites so deep)

Emma paused on the top of the wall, looking down at the grounds of the manor for guards. When she saw none close enough to see her in the dark, she jumped, landing with a roll on top of one of the small structures the Broadway was using for housing. She moved to the edge, where she could see a shuttered window below her, and kicked her boot hard on the roof, once.

The shutters opened, and she jumped down to the ground to climb inside.

“How did it go?” Angie asked as she shut the window behind her.

“Nothing too big, but the source was interesting,” Emma said, tossing the bag of coins to Angie. She pulled the black cloak down from her nose and mouth, then pushed the hood off of her head.

“The baroness’ seal?” Angie raised an eyebrow at Emma. “You robbed the _baroness?”_

“Better. Or worse, maybe?” Emma stepped past Barry and walked into a back room, where she opened a trunk and lifted out a false bottom to slide her bow and quiver into. “It was Alyssa.”

“Jesus, Emma,” Angie said with a wince as she followed her. “I’ve heard of messy breakups, but robbing the girl a decade later is more than a little extreme.”

“You’re _so funny.”_ Emma undid the clasp of her cloak and pulled it off of her shoulders. “I saved her life, in fairness, so I think I was within my right to steal from her.”

Angie snorted. “That’s how that works, huh?”

“The gold all comes from the same place.”

“The feelings don’t,” Angie said, sing-song, walking over to the front door and leaning against it.

A dagger embedded in the wall next to her head.

Angie laughed brightly and removed it, spinning it in her hand. She throws it back, so that it stick in the lid of the trunk right between two of Emma’s fingers.

“Children,” Barry scolded. “No throwing knives in the house. We’ve discussed this. It’s banned ever since Emma missed and hit my lyre.”

“Who ever said that I missed?”

* * *

Alyssa walked into her mother’s study, her hands anxiously toying with the sleeves of her dress.

“Mother,” she greeted, hesitant.

“Alyssa. Have a seat.”

Once she had done so, Alyssa said, “What is it that you need?”

“A few of the other nobles will be visiting later this week. Lady Shelby’s parents, and those of Lady Kaylee. We will be having a small feast to welcome them.”

“I-I… Mother, should we be having such an event at this time?”

Baroness Greene sighed. “Alyssa, the barony is wealthy and thriving, and we should celebrate that. If anyone takes issue with that, they are not seeing the larger outlook of our success.”

Alyssa gritted her teeth. “Mother-”

“I will expect you to attend, pleasantly, and not attempt to disrupt the evening with any of your talk of alterations to policy. Your youthful ignorance will not be tolerated any further. Do you understand?”

“… I understand.”

Her mother nodded once, as if satisfied. “You do not know what the villages are truly like, Alyssa. You have only been to the markets, which are so much safer. One day, when you are old enough to see the full picture, you will see the world the way I do.”

“… Yes, Mother.” Alyssa stood up, trying not to clench her hand into a fist before she left the room.

* * *

Alyssa knocked softly on the middle of the trio of buildings that had been given to the Broadway to use while they lived on the grounds of the manor. After a long moment, the door swung open, and Barry looked down at her.

“Oh,” he said. “Hello… _m’lady.”_

She gave him a sheepish look. “I was hoping that we could talk. We haven’t since you’ve arrived here.”

There was an expression of genuine surprise on his face as he nodded and stepped back, allowing her inside.

“I wouldn’t force you to, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Alyssa said quietly. “Unless I’m with my mother, you’re free to tell me that you don’t want to talk to me. If she’s there, though, I need to at least appear like I’m taking my position seriously.”

“That’s understandable. I’ll admit, I was a bit surprised to realize who you were, but… it wasn’t really because of your nobility, m’lady.”

Behind Barry, Emma was standing in the middle of the room, staring blankly.

“Oh,” Alyssa whispered. “Right.”

Emma turned around and walked into another room, slamming the door shut behind her.

_“Very mature of you!”_ Barry shouted at the closed door. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I apologize, m’lady.”

Alyssa shrugged. “It’s not your fault.” She narrowed her eyes, staring past Barry at nothing. “I do wish, though… She hurt me, badly, and I wish I knew what I did to hurt her, too.”

She shook her head quickly and smiled at Barry. “Regardless. I’m not here to talk about her. I wanted to thank you.”

“For?”

“I would imagine that it wasn’t difficult to guess that I wasn’t supposed to be in the village that day. If my mother found out, she would probably lock me in a windowless room of the manor until the day she died. So I just wanted to thank you for not saying anything.”

Barry nodded. “What you do in your time is your business, m’lady. Not mine, not hers, not anyone’s.”

Alyssa laughed. “If only it were that simple.”

She turned and left, and Barry waited until he was sure she was gone before he went over and opened Emma’s door. She was lying on top of her bed, fidgeting with one of her daggers and staring at the ceiling.

“Hey, kid?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re an idiot,” Barry said before slamming the door closed again.

* * *

Alyssa watched, miserable and embarrassed, as a cart full of food for a feast in her own home pushed its way through the village near the manor.

She bowed her head, leaning against a building near a thin alley, unable to make eye contact with the hungry and angry crowd around her as they were held away from the cart by a knight on either side.

She had snuck out again, on an even more dangerous night.

A part of her knew that if the citizens tried to get what should be theirs, she would barely be able to stomach the retaliation.

The part of her that knew her inevitable future refused to let her avoid having to witness it.

A small wheel of cheese fell off of the back of the cart, and an old woman reached out and picked it up. The cart stopped immediately, and one of the knights circled his horse back around, spear up.

“Put it back where it belongs, woman,” he ordered.

“Please,” she said, her voice small. “I-It’s just a little cheese.”

The knight prodded her in the shoulder with his spear, drawing blood. “Do as you’re told, or-”

His spear shattered as an arrow broke through it, and he dropped it as if it were on fire.

Alyssa looked up, startled, and saw the same figure from the road standing on top of a nearby roof.

They released three more arrows in quick succession, and Alyssa realized that the arrows were being buried into the axle of the back wheels of the cart, locking it into place.

The knight with the spear grabbed a small one-handed crossbow from his saddlebag and raised it. The thief shattered one of their arrows on the knight’s shoulder armor, sending him tumbling off of his horse.

Another arrow broke the lock on the cart, spilling the food into the road, and yet another disarmed the only remaining knight. The driver, scared, jumped off of the cart and ran.

The thief jumped off of the roof, landing on the driver’s seat of the cart, and easily caught hand ax thrown by one of the knights. They used it to sever the connection between the horse and the cart, then, with a flourish that had the same near-sarcastic air as the bow they had given Alyssa, they tossed the ax into the dirt at the knight’s feet.

The stranger stood there, everyone in the road stunned into silence. Then, the thief turned and ran towards the forest.

Enraged, the knights gave chase, leaving all of the food unattended in the street.

For a long, silent moment, no one moved. As an excited murmur bubbled through the crowd, they slowly started to move forward, passing the food out amongst themselves before disappearing back into their houses.

Alyssa couldn’t help but be impressed.

She had spent years trying to get some semblance of something positive out of the other nobles, and one thief actually got something done within five minutes.

Alyssa walked into the empty road and pulled one of the arrows out of the wooden cart. She turned it over in her hand, studying it, brushing the thumb of her gloved hand against the still-sharp tip.

“Who are you?” she murmured.

* * *

Alyssa made her way to the stables, the one place on the entire grounds that she knew her mother would never visit.

She carefully walked through, trying not to disturb the horses, until she got to the stall all the way at the end, where one of the boards in the back wall was loose.

She had used this board to hide things as a child, small trinkets that she knew her mother would deem useless and throw away.

Now she used the space to hide the arrow she had taken from the theft the night before.

Alyssa set the arrow inside carefully, breathing out a sigh of relief when it fit perfectly, and snapped the board back into place. She brushed the dust off onto her pants, double checked that everything looked normal, and turned.

And jumped six feet in the air when she saw Emma standing in the opening of the stall, watching her.

“If you jumped more than that, you might look suspicious,” Emma said dryly.

_“Give a girl some warning next time,”_ Alyssa squeaked, her hand over her heart.

“Sorry. I thought you heard me.” Emma raised an eyebrow. “Secret hiding place? You still use that after all this time?”

Alyssa blinked. “You know about that?”

“Yeah, of course. It’s where you used to put the neat rocks I’d collect for you.” Emma scoffed. “I was… I was a really stupid child.”

“Well, that’s at least something we can agree on.”

Emma paused, studying her for a moment, and Alyssa looked down, a prickly feeling creeping up her neck under her gaze. “I suppose I never did tell you that I was sorry.”

“Were you?”

Emma paused again. “No.”

Alyssa looked up quickly. “What the hell do you mean _no?”_

“Was I sorry for leaving? No. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you in person, but I’m not going to apologize for going.”

“Are you kidding me right now? Ten fucking years and the best you’ve got for me is _‘I’m not sorry’?”_

Emma shrugged and leaned against the frame of the stall. “What else did you want?”

“How about an actual explanation, you _ass?”_ Alyssa stomped up to Emma, furious.

She had planned on never actually having this conversation.

That had, apparently, not worked out.

_“You,”_ Alyssa snarled, jabbing her finger into Emma’s collarbone, “gave me my first kiss, and it was so utterly amazing that I couldn’t stop thinking about it for _years,_ and yet the very next day I wake up to a note slipped under my door telling me that you’ve moved and you didn’t know if you were ever coming back. The only reason I knew you weren’t _dead_ was the fact that your grandmother assured me so, and even then I wasn’t sure whether to believe her, because you _didn’t come back for her funeral.”_

Emma’s eyes went dark, and she pushed forward, backing Alyssa into the stall and ignoring her hand still on her chest. “Oh, I didn’t realize that I was supposed to run all of my life decisions by you, _m’lady._ Next time I’ll fill out an official royal request.”

“It might be better for you, since you apparently can’t even be in the same room with me without hiding in your room like a _coward.”_

“Yeah? You’ve been avoiding me from the moment I got here, sweetheart, so which one of us is really-”

Emma’s words were cut off when Alyssa dragged her forward and kissed her.

It lingered, relatively calm, for just a brief moment, then Alyssa turned them, and they stumbled until Emma’s back slammed into the back wall. One of Alyssa’s hands went to Emma’s hair and the other went to her waist. Emma’s hands didn’t seem to know what to do with themselves, but they eventually settled on gripping Alyssa’s hips and pulling them flush together.

Whatever their first kiss had been, this was better.

This one had completely blanked the other one from Alyssa’s mind the moment it had begun.

One of the horses whinnied loudly a few stalls down, and they suddenly realized what they were doing. They shoved each other away, and they stood there, feet apart, panting.

“Shit,” Emma whispered.

“Shit,” Alyssa echoed, dazed.

They just stared at each other, still out of breath, until Alyssa turned and practically ran out of the building.


	3. start over new (never meant to do those things to you)

“I really don’t want to see my parents,” Kaylee sighed, dramatically flopping on Shelby as she’s sprawled on Alyssa’s bed.

Shelby didn’t even open her eyes as the weight hit her, just lazily reaching down to pat Kaylee on the back. “We see them like once a year, Kayl, I think it’s polite.”

Alyssa turned around in her chair, sitting backwards in it and resting her head on her arms. “Exactly how inappropriate would it be in this situation to say that I _wished_ I only saw my mother once a year?”

Kaylee and Shelby both shrugged.

“Your mom’s acting like this is a pleasant gathering again, huh?” Kaylee asked.

“I believe the exact words were _‘A few of the other nobles will be visiting later this week.’_ Which is true in technical terms, but it sort of leaves out ‘checking to make sure we haven’t executed their children’.” Alyssa sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Guys, I…” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “You… You both know that the minute I have any say in this, you’re free to go… right?”

“Alyssa,” Shelby said patiently, “we’re _genuinely_ your friends, you know that, right? We’re not just pretending because we’re only living here so that our parents do whatever your mother wants.”

“Yeah.” Kaylee, her head resting on Shelby’s stomach, opened one eye. “It’s not _your_ fault. We tell you this every year. What’s it going to take for you to believe us?”

Alyssa bit her lip. “I guess I’m just thinking a lot about past mistakes today.”

Kaylee and Shelby both sat up. “Okay,” Kaylee said, her eyes glinting. “Spill, then.”

“Spill what?”

“Exactly what happened with you and Emma Nolan.”

Alyssa flushed bright red. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Shelby snickered. “First of all, that blush is super believable. Second of all, you’ve been pouty ever since she showed back up. Third of all, _you_ do not get wistful and gloomy about the past _except_ for every single time Emma Nolan comes up. So. What did you do?”

Alyssa covered her face with her hands. “I kissed her,” she moaned.

Both of her friends grinned at her. “Oh, you idiot,” Shelby said. “How bad was it?”

“Oh, God, I kissed her _so hard.”_

“You do realize that you’re _stupid_ , right?” Kaylee giggled.

Alyssa groaned and set her head down on the back of her chair. “Yes, Kaylee, I know I’m stupid.”

“How did that even happen?”

“I don’t _know_ we were arguing over something stupid and she was right in front of me and she looked far too attractive and I just grabbed her and the next time I remember I had her against the wall of the stables and my tongue was down her throat.”

 _“Lady Alyssa,”_ Kaylee gasped, snarkily, putting a hand over her heart. “You had relations with the stablehand in one of the horse stalls? How _could_ you?”

Alyssa glared at her. “It wasn’t like that.” She paused. “Okay, it was a _tiny bit_ like that, but it didn’t go any further than kissing because we both realized it was a mistake.”

“If it was a mistake,” Shelby said slowly, “why are you still thinking about it?”

“I don’t know, Shelby, maybe my brain really likes obsessing over the most embarrassing moments of my life.”

“It actually kinda is a problem,” Kaylee said. “I mean, your mom doesn’t really seem like she’d be cool with it.”

Shelby snorted. “Yeah. I mean, really, Alyssa, this is a childhood crush you’re definitely going to need to put away, because you _know_ that your mother would never let you marry a _commoner.”_

Alyssa felt her blush deepen. “How did we get to _marry?_ I’m already over her! I was interested in her ten years ago! We’re not even friends now!” She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “So what if there’s still some physical tension between us? It means nothing.”

Shelby and Kaylee exchanged a look of disbelief. “Sure,” Kaylee said quickly.

“Absolutely,” Shelby agreed simultaneously.

“But, you know,” Kaylee said, leaning back against Shelby again, “maybe, just for your own peace of mind, you should kiss somebody else? It doesn’t matter who, just kiss literally anybody who is not Emma Nolan, just to get her out of your system.”

“Kaylee’s not volunteering,” Shelby said dryly.

Kaylee elbowed her. “I _could_ be.”

“But you’re not.”

“Says who?”

“Says me!”

“You’re not the boss of me!”

“I am now, because you’re not volunteering.”

Kaylee poked Shelby in the sternum, leaning up a bit too close to her face. “How exactly are you going to stop me?”

Alyssa watched them bicker, sighing, for another few minutes. “Hey, guys? …Guys? … _Guys!”_

They both paused, far too close now, gripping each other’s tunics as they argued. They looked at Alyssa, a little disoriented, as if they had forgotten she was there.

“However it is that you’re going to resolve this, can it not be on my bed?”

They looked at each other, then back at Alyssa, flushed. “Right.”

* * *

Emma perched herself on a stable tree limb, watching the road below her. She ran her thumb along the string of her bow, holding it carefully in front of her.

She heard the cart coming before she saw it, and she pulled back an arrow, closing her eyes and timing silently in her head.

When she let go, the arrow smacked into the ground directly in front of the lead horse’s hoof, and it bucked wildly.

The driver pulled in the reins in a panic and stopped the cart, and Emma jumped down, landing on the pile of bags in the back.

The driver turned around and raised his hands.

“Whoa. Okay. I’m just a driver for the manor. I don’t have any fight with you.”

Emma pointed at the ground with her bow.

“What… Get out?”

She nodded.

“Uhm… Look, I respect what you’re doing here and all, but there are wolves out here, and the last time I was alone in a forest without a cart I got really lost, and-”

Emma sighed and shook her head slowly.

“-I was with these friends from bard college and we were going to try to find these alcohol that could make our throats sound okay no matter how much we drank, but-”

_Wait._

Emma whistled loudly, three short, sharp bursts.

Her horse galloped down the path, and she grabbed one of the bags from the cart before jumping onto its back. She ignored the confused shout of thanks from the driver as she left.

* * *

“Hey.” Emma tossed the bag of gold to Barry as she entered their building. “I think Trent’s here.”

“Wait, Trent survived that night at bard college?”

Emma rolled her eyes. “There’s a driver from the manor that had the tax cart I robbed tonight. He was exactly the way you described, and he was talking about… pretty much that, yeah, so I would hope that it’s Trent. Either that or the colleges around here really need to be safer.”

“Huh.” Barry emptied the bag onto the table in front of him and started counting. “I guess I’ll have to see if it’s really him.”

* * *

The ‘feast’, as her mother had phrased it, was even more awkward than Alyssa had imagined.

As had always happened, Shelby and Kaylee were seated across from their sets of parents, side by side, bracketed by Kevin and Nick in a move that the four of them – and Alyssa – all knew was meant to be a threat, but that they all secretly took comfort in.

Lord Gonzales of Bluestone, Shelby’s father, was staring at Kevin with a critical gaze, while his wife glared at Baroness Greene. Lord and Lady Klein of Marke looked bored, occasionally saying a few words to Kaylee but, for the most part, completely ignoring her.

“You,” Lord Gonzales said, pointing his fork at Kevin. “Remind me of your name, knight.”

Kevin blinked, still chewing, and didn’t answer until Shelby elbowed him. “Sir Kevin Shields of Sombrer.”

“Your father is Lord Shields of Sombrer, then?”

“Yes, m’lord.”

“Hm.” He looked at Nick. “And what about you?”

“Sir Nicholas Boomer of Madison, son of Lord Boomer of Madison.”

“Neither of your parents were invited to this occasion?”

Nick and Kevin both shook their heads.

Baroness Greene smiled and took a sip from her glass. “Sombrer and Madison have not had to deal with the thief problem we are discussing today, Lord Gonzales, so I decided to invite them another time.”

Alyssa, who had been prodding her food with her fork, looked up. “Thief problem?”

“The one who ambushed you and Nicholas,” her mother said. “They are the same one who ruined our meal by stealing the food cart, and they also attacked our carriage driver while he was meant to be delivering some tax gold.”

“Trent?” Alyssa’s eyes widened, worried. “Is he okay?’

Baroness Greene waved her off. “He was uninjured, but it is only a matter of time before this thief goes too far. They were also spotted in Bluestone and Marke, causing the same problems, and the citizens there are getting restless.”

“We had a riot last week,” Lord Klein reported. “All thanks to the actions done by this thief.”

“Robin,” Lord Gonzales said. He took something out of his traveling bag and set it on the table. It was a robin, carved out of a piece of wood. “They have been calling him Robin, because he has left one of these at almost all of his crimes.”

“One was dropped when my knights chased the thief away from the food cart as well,” Baroness Greene said. She thought for a moment. “So. Robin. A calling card for a traitor and a thief. We all know what needs to be done, I presume?”

Lady Klein scoffed. “I am surprised it has not already been done.”

“I wanted to address it with you first, as your towns were also affected.”

Alyssa exchanged glances with Shelby, Kaylee, Nick, and Kevin, who all looked like they weren’t following the conversation. “Could we ask what it is that the decision is? We like to keep track, for future potential dealings, of course.”

Lord Gonzales’s eyes were hard as he looked at Alyssa. “This thief must be dealt with before the entire barony revolts. They must be stopped in a way that also puts a stop to whatever stirrings they have been causing.”

Baroness Greene took Alyssa’s hand and squeezed it. “Do not worry. We will not let the five of you get involved in these brutal affairs.”

Alyssa felt her stomach drop. “What brutal affairs, Mother?”

“Why, this thief’s capture and execution, of course. They stole from the royal treasury when they robbed you, they attacked nobility and a knight, they stole from the royal food reserves, they stole tax collections… All of this, and anything else they do in the future, is more than enough justification for them to be hanged.”

* * *

Alyssa stormed into her room and slammed the door behind her, her breath ragged and halting. She sat down on her bed and put her head in her hands, gasping for air.

“Just breathe,” a quiet voice said. “It will pass.”

She jolted, and her gaze landed on the open window.

Emma was sitting on the windowsill, looking out at the stars. “I saw you storm out of the dining hall. You looked upset. I don’t know if I’ll make it better or worse, but I still wanted to check on you.”

“How did you get up here?” Alyssa asked, dumbfounded.

“Oh, please, Alyssa. I watched you sneak out so many times when we were kids. Getting up here was easy.”

Alyssa walked over and leaned in the window next to her. “We were talking about that thief. The one in the hood who’s been causing a disturbance.”

“Oh?”

“They’re going to kill him, Emma. The nobles want him dead.”

Emma gave a small nod, still looking up at the sky. “Yeah… I kind of figured that would happen. They aren’t fond of people ignoring them.”

“Can I admit something to you?”

“You never have to be afraid of that with me, m'lady.”

Alyssa bit her lip. “I… I don’t want this thief to die.”

Emma looked down at her surprised. “Why?”

“I can’t explain it. I just… What they’re doing feels _right_. It feels like they’re accomplishing what I’ve been struggling to do my whole life. Make some real change here. Maybe it’ll take more than one guy with a bow and arrow, but if I can push from the inside while he’s causing chaos outside, maybe, just maybe, something actually will get done.”

“That’s a noble effort, m’lady. I do hope you don’t live to regret it.”

Alyssa laughed softly. “There are already a lot of things in my life I regret.”

“So do I.” Emma took in a long, slow breath. “Another reason I wanted to see you? I… I wanted to apologize. Truly. For everything that I said to you about not being sorry for leaving. It was not what I should have said to you, and I’m sorry. It was rude.”

“I just wish I knew why you felt that way at all,” Alyssa murmured. “But I can live without it, Emma. I want my friend back.” She held her hand out, as if to shake Emma’s. “Could we start over? Just try to talk to each other as normally as we can again?”

Emma looked at her hand for a moment before blinking and looking away. “We can,” she said slowly. “But… before that happens, Alyssa, you need to know the truth of why I left, because it will change how you look at me.”

“Okay,” Alyssa said quietly.

“Not here. Please. Do you remember the gorge?”

“Of course.”

“There’s a spot about a mile east of the bridge. I’ll meet you there tomorrow just after sunrise.”

Alyssa nodded, not even noticing that she was tying and untying a thin piece of leather on Emma’s jerkin. “You’re not going to murder me at this gorge, right?”

Emma didn’t laugh. “No.”

* * *

The gorge was quiet. Desolate. A high gap with a river thousands of feet below them, nothing on either side but sand and dirt and rocks. Alyssa shivered as she dismounted her horse and walked over to Emma, securing her horse’s reins under a small rock before joining Emma near the edge.

Emma is crouched as close as she can get to the plummet of the gorge, dropping small rocks and watching them fall, fall, fall into the water far below her.

“I don’t come here much,” Alyssa murmured. “I never really realized how creepy it is. How empty and lonely.”

“I come here sometimes,” Emma said, her voice soft. “To think. To remember just how lonely and lost I felt out here.”

Alyssa stared down at her, and a cold prickle of unease started stabbing at the small of her back. “What do you mean?”

Emma watched another rock fall. “I never wanted to have to bring you here,” she said, “but you deserve to know everything.”

“You’re scaring me,” Alyssa breathed, taking a small step backward.

“The fear,” Emma whispered. “That’s the part I always forget. The part I’m always glad to, even though it’s what hurts most when it rushes back. God, Alyssa, I was so scared.”

“Of what?” Alyssa paused, and that cold feeling sunk deeper through her. “Emma… What happened to you out here?”

Emma took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. “This is where your mother brought me when she was going to have me executed.”

Alyssa felt her heart stop, and her brain was quickly overwhelmed with thoughts and questions, but only one made its way to her lips. “When?” she choked out.

Emma stood slowly and turned to face her, a darkness in her eyes that, only days ago, had sent Alyssa’s heart into a tailspin. In a whisper, she said, “The night we had our first kiss. The night I left.”


	4. it's not so pleasant (take the fight from the kid)

_Please. Please, m’lady, I didn’t-_

_If you confess, stablehand, this will be far less painful for you. If you choose to continue to lie to me? Well. I have heard that, if you are lucky, it is possible for you to die instantly if you hit the rocks. But most live long enough to suffer._

“Emma?” Alyssa said softly, cutting through her thoughts. “What are you telling me here? My mother…”

Emma turned away from Alyssa, unable to look at her. “When we got back to the manor, I went to put the horses away, do you remember?”

“Yes. I watched you leave, and thought that…” Alyssa’s voice trailed off, and it didn’t start again.

“I was putting everything where it belonged, when I heard someone come into the stables. It was… strange? When I realized it was your mother. Just because she didn’t usually go there. But there wasn’t anything particularly odd about it.”

_What did you do to my daughter, stablehand?_

_I swear to God, I didn’t do anything wrong, I swear to God-_

“Two of her knights grabbed me, and they brought me out here. Shackled my hands behind my back, had me kneel right on the edge, so I could see how far down the river was, even in the dim light of dusk.”

“Christ,” Alyssa murmured.

_I will make your execution quick, stablehand. I swear it. Just tell me what you did._

_M’lady, please, I can’t. I promised._

“The baroness told me that she knew what we had done. That she knew I had touched you, and that the punishment for it, as a commoner, was death. She wanted the truth first. She wanted to know everything, everything that had happened.”

_Did you put your filthy commoner hands on my daughter, stablehand?_

_I-I- I can’t- I don’t-_

Emma turned back around slowly, and she could see a sickened horror in Alyssa’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Alyssa,” she whispered. “I told her everything.”

“Everything?” Alyssa repeated, barely audible. “This whole time… my mother has known about you? Has known that we kissed?”

Emma nodded. “I told her that we had been spending more and more time together. That we went out that day for a picnic by the river. That you kissed me, and it was like the whole world started to make sense.” She paused. “That I was in love with you.”

Alyssa swallowed and looked away, her eyes watery.

_Please, m’lady. Please. I don’t want to die here._

_You should have thought of that before you kissed my daughter._

“I-I… I know we promised. We promised not to tell anyone. But I… I was on the edge of a gorge, with a sword pressed against my back, and I was _terrified_. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Emma, I don’t blame you for that,” Alyssa said softly, taking a step closer. “How could I possibly blame you for that? We were _fourteen.”_

Emma shook her head and looked down at the ground. “I don’t know why I’m not dead. I started to panic. Sir Anthony had to hold me down as Sir Murphy prepared to cut my throat. Your mother just… didn’t give the order. She told them to take the shackles off, and that I had to leave. That night. If I tried to speak to you, I’d be dead.”

_Get off the ground, girl. The baroness is speaking to you._

_Stop crying and thank the baroness for sparing your worthless life._

“They left me out here. Alone in the dark, not sure where I was supposed to go. I managed to get back home long enough to pack up a few things, say goodbye to my grandmother, and leave her a note to get slipped under your door to at least… to at least _try_ to say goodbye to you, too.” Emma shrugged. “And then I just… left. I ended up finding the Broadway, and they took me in, and I’ve been with them ever since.”

She heard a soft, sharp intake of breath, and when she looked up, she could see that Alyssa was crying. “All these years,” she whispered. “All this time. It was my fault.”

“Alyssa-”

“No,” Alyssa interrupted sharply. “Don’t try to absolve me of it, Emma. _I_ kissed _you._ You told me that it was a bad idea, that as much as you wanted to, we could never be together.” She bit her lip. “God, if she had killed you, I would’ve…”

“She didn’t.”

“You think that _matters?_ Emma, she can’t just keep doing this to me, she can’t just control everything I do, who I spend my time with.”

Emma gave her a tired smile. “Alyssa, she’s the _baroness._ That’s exactly what she can do.”

She saw the reckless determination settle into Alyssa’s eyes, and she knew what it meant.

Alyssa had had the same glint when they were teenagers, moments before she kissed her.

“We could get back what we had. Screw her. We could do it without her ever finding out. You were my best friend, my first kiss, the first person who ever truly knew me. I want to have that again, Emma.”

She stepped closer, but Emma stepped back, only a little, still too near the edge.

“I can’t,” Emma said, her voice hoarse. “I thought we could, but telling you this has only made me remember that we _can’t._ I only came back here because the Broadway was, and I thought that, maybe, a decade away would give me a reprieve. So far, it’s working, but if your mother thinks that we’re seeing each other again, I don’t know what she’ll do. I can’t…” She swallowed. “Alyssa, I don’t want to die out here.”

Alyssa’s shoulders slumped, her face falling. “Emma,” she whispered. “I won’t let her kill you.”

Emma reached out, lightly stroking her thumb against Alyssa’s cheek. “I don’t think there would be anything you could do to stop it, m’lady,” she said gently.

She stepped past Alyssa and whistled sharply, and her horse galloped out of the woods several yards away.

“Emma,” Alyssa said, staring out into the gorge.

“Yeah?” Emma responded as she got up onto her horse.

“Thank you. For telling me. I know it can’t have been easy to.”

Emma swallowed, her throat tight. “You deserved to know.”

* * *

Emma slammed the door to her room closed and pulled both of her daggers off of her belt, throwing them across the room so that they embedded side-by-side into the wall.

The door opened again, and Barry leaned in the doorway. “Okay. If you keep doing that, I’m taking those from you when you walk in.”

“Stupid,” Emma muttered. _“Stupid!”_ She kicked one of the posts of her bed before dropping down onto it, her hands covering her face.

“Hey, kid, come on. What’s going on with you?”

For a long moment, Emma was quiet. Then, she whispered, “I told Alyssa the truth. About the night I left Water’s Edge.”

“Oh. She didn’t take it well?”

“She’s upset, but at her mother, not me. She thinks that we can just… I don’t know. Move forward? As if it was last week, not ten years ago. Her mother already wants me dead for being a thief. I don’t really want her to also want me dead for loving her daughter.”

“Well, I-”

“It was so stupid to think that I could fix this place. I just wanted my home to be a place worth living in again. I guess I thought that, maybe, if things were better, just _maybe_ I’d be able to be home again. Even if I couldn’t be with Alyssa, at least I could work in the barony she calls home. I just wanted to make it better, but what’s the _point?_ It’s never going to change, it’ll never-”

_“Kid!”_

Emma’s frantic rambling broke off, choked, as Barry yelled across the room. He walked over and sat down on the edge of her bed, gently patting her leg.

“Kid, look, I would be _thrilled_ if you stopped putting yourself in danger every single damn night. It would make me _ecstatic._ But I know you, and you would be miserable for the rest of your life if you didn’t try.”

Emma sighed and rubbed at her eyes. “You’re right.”

Barry scoffed. “I usually am.”

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to see her all the time when I feel like this and can’t even talk to her.”

“Then talk to her.”

“Barry-”

“Look, I’m not saying that you tell the baroness that you want to kiss her daughter again, but you _already have a death sentence on your head._ At this point, live a little.”

“Comforting,” Emma said dryly. “But you do have a point.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” Barry stood and grabbed Emma by her boots, dragging her until she fell out of her bed. “Now, come on. Stop moping. If you don’t do more chores around here, Dee Dee will kill you.”

“I’d like to see her try.”

“She is the one who taught you how to use a sword.”

Emma paused. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

* * *

Alyssa woke to the sound of shouting. She rubbed her eyes as she walked to her window and opened the shutters, leaning out to look down into the courtyard.

The doors to one of the gold vaults were open, and a few of the knights were running around, yelling to each other in a panic.

Alyssa looked up, and her heart jolted when she noticed the thief crouched on top of the wall directly across from her, also observing the scene below.

They raised a finger in a shushing motion in front of the spot in their cloak where their mouth would be, and Alyssa giggled and nodded.

The thief waited until there were only two knights nearby, then they made a sharp whistle and waved the bag of gold, mocking. As the knights sprinted towards the wall, the thief turned and jumped off of it on the other side, disappearing into the darkness.

Alyssa laughed as the knights tried and failed to climb the wall after her, then she closed her shutters and turned to head back to bed.

She paused as she lifted her sheets, the sound of the whistle echoing in her mind.

It sounded familiar, but she couldn’t quite place it.

Alyssa frowned at the window, the commotion starting to fade, and as she got into bed, and tried to remember where she had heard that sound before.

By the time she woke the next morning, she had forgotten about it entirely.


	5. the time we've lost (the life we had)

Emma tripped, dropping the mop she was holding and watching it roll clumsily down the hill in front of her.

“How did you even _do_ that, Nolan?”

She turned and gave Shelby a sheepish shrug. “Lack of talent?”

“Jesus, I hope they never let you touch the fine china.” Shelby held out a hand and helped Emma to her feet. “Have you seen Kevin?”

“I think he was training with Sir Nicholas, m’lady.”

Shelby rolled her eyes. “Emma? We’ve known each other since we were five. Unless the baroness is around, call us by our names.”

Emma shrugged and pushed her glasses back up on her nose. “I was just trying to be polite.”

“Yeah, I know.” Shelby started to walk away, but Emma’s soft voice stopped her.

“Shelby. You know, don’t you?”

She turned back around, slowly. In a quiet voice, she said, “All I know is that when Alyssa came home yesterday, she was crying in a way I haven’t seen her cry since the day you left. A part of me wants to hate you for what it’s doing to her. But there’s… There’s a misery about you that I’ve _never_ seen, and it makes me think that maybe you’re just as beaten down, too.”

Emma swallowed and looked away. “Shelby, I-”

“No one’s going to know,” she said softly. “Alyssa’s keeping a lot of my secrets too, okay? Just… try not to hurt her?”

“I think it might be too late for that.”

Shelby gave a small, sad smile and nodded. “Yeah. It’s funny how that works, isn’t it?” She turned and slid her hands in her pockets, sighing before walking away.

* * *

Emma circled slowly, frowning down at the map on the table. “What about this area?” she asked, pointing at it with her dagger.

“Don’t point with those; it’s rude,” Dee Dee said, smacking her hand. She squinted at the map. “We sent Angie over there to stake out some good resources, but I don’t think she’s found anyone reliable yet. We can filter gold into that area once we’ve found one.”

“We can’t just do what we did with that food cart?” Emma set her dagger down.

Dee Dee shook her head. “If you do too many of those, you’ll start to cause riots. That’s not what we’re aiming for. If the people want to revolt, they will. _You_ can’t do that.”

Emma scoffed and stole a piece of pear off of Dee Dee’s plate. “Well, I mean, I _could.”_

“You’re one person who is already committing robberies. Try to start riots, and the baroness will paint you as a dangerous outlaw that the public should hunt down and kill.”

Emma paused, staring at her. “How is that any different from what’s going on now?”

Dee Dee smacked her hand again as she tried to steal another piece of fruit. “One wrong decision and the public _will_ turn against you and _will_ hunt you down for her. That’s what’s different.”

“Oh, fine.” Emma rested her head on her hands. “Do you have any word on when those supplies from the earl are being delivered?”

“My resources told me that we should expect them within the next few weeks?”

“Good.” Emma stood, sliding her dagger back into her belt and swiping another piece of pear. “What of those civilians who were causing issues? The ones who said they wanted to steal from the manor?”

“I haven’t heard much either way about it, but, if it happens, why not let them?”

“Dee Dee…”

She waved her off. “I know, I know you’re worried about any harm coming to Lady Alyssa, but from what I can tell these fools just want to steal food. I’ll keep my ear out to make sure it’s nothing more serious, though.”

“Please do. At the very least, if there’s any question at all, I’d like to be around in case things get too out of hand.”

Dee Dee’s voice softened. “You can’t be there for her all the time, Emma. You can’t save everyone. You’d kill yourself trying.”

Emma put her hands on her hips, watching the fire crackle in the fireplace. “I wouldn’t be doing this if I wasn’t willing to try.”

* * *

Alyssa opened the door to her bedroom, sighing heavily and untying the front of her jerkin. As she went to pull it off, a voice said, “I feel like it’s polite to tell you I’m here.”

“Jesus _Christ!”_ Alyssa spun around and glared at Emma, who was seated on her windowsill like she had been days earlier, watching the sky. “One of these days I’ll pass out because of you.”

“Promise?” Emma asked cheekily, smirking at her.

Alyssa took her nightgown out of her wardrobe and pointedly moved behind her changing curtain.

She heard Emma scoff. “It wasn’t like I was going to watch.”

“Shut up,” Alyssa retorted, taking off her jerkin and beginning to undress fully. “Why are you even up here?”

“I wanted to talk to you, and I’m afraid of your mother.”

“That’s reasonable enough. What do you want to talk about?”

There was a pause before Emma said, “I gave it some thought. What you said, out there at… well. You know. And I-I was thinking, maybe we _could_ figure out a way to try to be friends again? Maybe during those times when you go into the villages alone.”

Alyssa felt her heart pound painfully in her chest. “I would like that,” she said softly.

“I know it’ll never be what we truly want. But I… I don’t know if I can stay away from you for the rest of my life, either.”

Alyssa finished getting into her nightgown and walked back out, her hands tight at her sides. “I don’t think I could let you go, either.”

Emma’s eyes scanned her, a soft, dopey look on her face. “Wow,” she murmured. “You’re beautiful in everything, you know that?”

“Emma,” Alyssa said, half-whisper, half-warning.

“Sorry. I can’t touch, but I also can’t help but look.”

Alyssa laughed, and Emma echoed her, and for a moment everything felt normal.

“I should go,” Emma said, after the laughter faded into an awkward silence.

“Yeah. Yeah, you probably should.” Alyssa watched as Emma stood up on the windowsill. “Just… before you do…”

“Yeah?”

“I was going to go to the marketplace tomorrow. There’s a little street fair going on. Did you want to meet me there?”

Emma smiled. “I’d be happy to.”

* * *

“I’ve always enjoyed this fair,” Alyssa said, walking next to Emma through the busy road in the middle of the marketplace. “The people here seem… happy. When it happens. And that’s much less common than I’d like to admit.”

“That’s not your fault,” Emma said softly. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah, well. I could do more. Somehow.”

“Caring is a lot. Believe me. People notice, Alyssa. They know who you are. They know what’s in your heart.”

Alyssa laughed dryly. “Are you sure about that?”

“Yeah. I am.”

“Well. Thank you for that.” Alyssa grabbed Emma’s arm. “Hey. There’s something I always wanted to try here. Come on.”

* * *

“It’s not going to happen.”

“Have more faith in me.”

“I have plenty of faith in you. It’s not going to happen.”

Alyssa picked up the dagger and squinted at the target a distance away from her. “I can do it. Leave me alone.”

Emma held up her hands and backed up. “By all means, then. Go ahead.”

Alyssa raised her arm, aiming at the center of the target. As she threw, she felt a faint motion past her head, and when she blinked, she saw the dagger buried in the center of the target. “Oh,” she whispered.

The man standing behind the table stared at her. “Huh.” He tossed an apple to her and pulled the dagger out of the target, passing it over to her. “Nice work.”

“Th-Thanks,” Alyssa stammered. She turned, looking down at the dagger in her hand as she walked back over to Emma, who was leaning against a wall a few feet behind her.

“You look confused,” Emma said. “Beginner’s luck?”

“I could’ve sworn that I saw my knife fly past the target entirely and skid under one of the carts.”

“That’s a lot of confidence in yourself.”

Alyssa handed the apple to a young girl running past them, then said, “Emma.”

“What?”

“Where’s your second dagger?”

Emma looked down at her belt, where one of her scabbards was empty. “Huh. Weird. I must’ve dropped it.” She nodded at the dagger in Alyssa’s hand. “You should put that away.”

Alyssa smiled as she tucked it into her own belt. “Dropped it, huh?”

“I’m _very_ clumsy.”

* * *

Emma looked up at the shift in color in the sky. “It’s getting late,” she murmured. “You should head back.”

“Could we talk for a minute first? Privately?”

“I suppose so.”

She followed Alyssa into a small abandoned workshop on the edge of the market, and Alyssa closed the door behind them.

Emma slid her hands into her pockets. “Is everything okay? You’ve been quiet.”

“What you said earlier, about people knowing who I am. Is that true?”

The tension in Emma’s shoulders loosened. “Of course it’s true,” she said gently. “How long have you been afraid of that?”

Alyssa laughed anxiously. “Probably my whole life. It gets worse the more my mother ignores what’s really going on out here.”

“You’re not her,” Emma said.

She stepped closer, accidentally at the same time Alyssa did, and they stood there for a long moment, breathing the same air.

“This was a nice fair.” Emma leaned in, just slightly. “Maybe, next time, you’ll be able to throw your knife yourself.”

“Dammit,” Alyssa whispered. _“Dammit.”_

They moved forward at the same time, their lips meeting as they stumbled for purchase, eventually slamming into the wall. Alyssa groaned as she pressed more firmly against Emma, Emma’s tongue sliding into her mouth.

They pushed each other away almost as quickly as they had started, already out of breath.

“Fuck,” Emma rasped.

Alyssa ran a hand through her hair, cheeks flushed pink. “Okay,” she panted. “We just… We just need to stay away from each other. Clearly.”

Emma cleared her throat. “Clearly.”

“I-I mean, unless we didn’t?”

“Oh, that’s a great plan. We can’t be alone for more than forty-five seconds without throwing ourselves at each other. I’ll be hanged before the end of the week.”

“We could figure it out,” Alyssa snapped, sounding frustrated.

Emma snorted, trying to stomp down the prickly heat burning through her. “Easy for you to say. Your mother would just lock you in your room until you convinced her you would behave, and then you could just wait her out until you succeeded her.”

“It’s not as easy as you think! Playing this game isn’t just some stupid act for the sake of sneaking out and enjoying myself!”

Emma threw her hands into the air and walked towards the door. “Well, great, then you can tell me all about it when you’re the baroness and you can permit me to be in the same room as you.”

_“I don’t even want to **be** baroness!”_

Emma turned back around slowly, blinking, and Alyssa slapped both of her hands over her mouth, looking horrified. “You… You what?”

Alyssa whimpered and shook her head rapidly, still covering her mouth.

“Alyssa, what-”

“I-I have to go. I-I have to leave.” She turned and rushed out of the building, slamming the door shut behind her.

* * *

Alyssa walked down the dark road, her mind reeling, trying hard to stop the tears streaming down her cheeks.

She just wanted to go home. She just needed to go home.

There was a low growl from the trees behind her, and, when she looked up, she realized that in her distracted state she had taken the path home that went through the most isolated, darkest part of the forest.

The most dangerous place a person could be alone.

She picked up the pace, her heart pounding, as she heard another growl and rested her hand on the handle of the dagger in her belt.

Not that it would do her any good.

There was a snarl behind her, loud and close, and she spun around in a panic just in time to see a wolf leap out of the trees in her direction.

It didn’t get near her, instead falling as an arrow struck the ground in front of it.

Alyssa narrowed her eyes at the figure standing further down the road. Her heartbeat picked up further when she realized that it was the thief.

They walked towards Alyssa, another arrow already nocked, pointed at the wolf as it growled. It jumped, and the thief shot it in the shoulder as they moved out of the way of its leap. The wolf yelped and sprinted away into the trees.

Alyssa sighed, but before she could walk closer, she saw a swift motion from the forest behind the thief.

_“Move!”_ she screamed.

The thief spun and brought their bow up in time to catch the second wolf’s bite in the wooden limb. They forced their bow down towards the ground and pulled a dagger off of their belt, but before they could aim for the second wolf, the first sprinted back out of the trees and grabbed the arm the dagger was in.

Alyssa’s heart stopped as she heard a sharp cry of pain, and the thief kicked the second wolf in the chest to wrench their bow free. They brought it down hard on the head of the first wolf, then swung it to smack into the muzzle of the second.

The wolves backed up, hesitant to continue, as the thief put the bow over their shoulders and drew a shortsword. After a few more snaps and growls, they seemed to decide it wasn’t worth the fight, and they ran back into the woods.

The thief stood where they were for a moment, shoulders moving in a way that Alyssa knew they were trying to catch their breath.

“Are… Are you okay?”

The thief slid their dagger back into their belt as they turned to face her, shaking their arm. There was blood dripping from it, and Alyssa pulled a small scarf from her traveling bag and walked closer.

“Let me?” she asked softly.

The thief didn’t move as she tied the scarf around the hole in their black doublet.

“Thank you. I don’t know how you found me out here, but thank you.”

The thief shrugged.

Alyssa held back a laugh. “Are you ever going to speak to me? It’s not like I’ll hunt you down based on your voice.”

The thief just shrugged again.

“You know, you’re going to get yourself killed if you keep doing this? If you shrug again, I’ll put pressure on this, and you won’t like it.”

The thief slowly lowered their shoulders. They pulled their arm away, took a small step back, and gave an over-exaggerated bow. They spun their sword once in their good hand and gestured further down the path.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re kind of annoying, you know that?” Alyssa laughed quietly and shook her head, turning and continuing on her way.

She could hear the thief following behind her, several feet back, keeping a protective eye on her until she reached the manor gate.


	6. nothing to prove (nothing to lose)

“You didn’t hit your head, right?”

“No, I d- _OW,_ WHAT THE _HELL?”_ Emma rubbed the back of her head and glared at Dee Dee as she continued her pacing pattern across the room. “Was that really necessary?”

“Yes, because you’re a _fool.”_ Dee Dee huffed and gestured at Sheldon. “Tell her that she’s a fool.”

“I won’t need to. She’ll feel it when I clean the grit out of this bite.”

“What do you- _JESUS!”_ Emma kicked over a nearby stool. “I do something good and this is how you people repay me?”

Sheldon ignored her, merely shifting his elbow to hold her arm down more firmly. “If you don’t stop whining at me, I’ll have Angie come in here and do this with one of her daggers.”

“I hate all of you. You’re all the worst.”

“You are _lucky_ that you still had access to one of our old setups and could get a set of gear,” Dee Dee hissed, jabbing her finger into Emma’s collarbone. “What would you have done if you were out there with nothing but one lousy dagger?”

“Hoped for the best?”

“Kid, I swear to God, do not test me.”

The door opened, and Barry walked in, carrying a bucket of water.

“Barry!” Emma grinned at him. “You must be on my side, right? I did good! Everything’s fine!”

“You did good, yeah! And you almost got yourself eaten by wolves.” Barry held up the bucket. “This is for that bite.”

Emma closed her eyes and rested her head back against her chair. “Oh, dear God.”

* * *

“I have a confession to make,” Alyssa said, ducking as Shelby’s wooden practice sword sliced in the direction of her head.

Shelby parried a counterblow from Alyssa’s blade, then pushed forward and started another rapid series of strikes. “Is it that you kissed Emma again?”

“What?” Alyssa stopped in her tracks, and Shelby’s sword slammed hard against her side.

“Shit.”

Kaylee hurried over to them from the side of the room, pulling up Alyssa’s tunic to get a look at the angry red mark already forming on her skin. “Shit, Shelby, you have to be more careful.”

“Wasn’t her fault. I stopped paying attention.” Kaylee prodded at the mark, and Alyssa hissed in protest. “Seriously, Kaylee, why?”

“Just checking.” Kaylee let Alyssa’s tunic back down and said, “I guess that means you _did_ kiss Emma again.”

Alyssa felt herself flush. “It wasn’t exactly like I did it on purpose.”

Shelby sighed heavily. “Alyssa.”

“I can’t help it! Every time I see her, I just want to…” Alyssa trailed off and shivered. _“Regardless,_ that is _not_ what I wanted to tell you guys.”

“Oh?”

“Last night, I was coming back from the market street fair, and I almost got attacked by two wolves.”

Shelby’s eyes narrowed. “I keep telling you that you should carry a sword when you go out by yourself, and you won’t do it.”

“If my mother ever found out that I was carrying a sword, she would flip out. That’s _also_ not the point. You know the thief?”

“Robin?”

Alyssa looked at Kaylee. “Huh?”

“Weren’t you listening at that dinner? They’re calling him Robin.”

“Whatever they’re calling them. They saved me.”

“Are you serious?” Kaylee edged closer. “How?”

“Fought the wolves off.”

Kaylee smirked. “Not the first time he’s saved you. He might’ve robbed you and Nick, but he saved you that night, too. He must not know you’re gay.”

Alyssa didn’t know the origin of the prickle of irritation in her spine. “How do you know they’re not a woman?”

Shelby snorted and took Alyssa’s training sword, carrying them over to a nearby shelf to put them away. “Women aren’t usually that stupid.”

“True.”

“Hey, though, if Robin _is_ a woman, maybe you could kiss her to get over Emma,” Kaylee joked.

Alyssa bit her lip. “Huh. That would be a thought.”

Shelby groaned. “Please, don’t. I can’t handle any more stupid from you today.” She grabbed Kaylee by the wrist and gently kissed her knuckles. “Come on. Kevin said he was bringing us chocolate back from the market.”

“Oh my God. I knew I loved him.”

They headed out of the room, hand in hand, giggling quietly to each other.

Alyssa watched them leave, smiling to herself. She waited until she was sure they were gone, then she took the dagger off of her belt, testing its weight in her hand. She gripped the handle tightly, aimed at a target across the room, and threw.

The dagger struck the bottom of the wall, several feet to the right.

“Shit,” Alyssa mumbled.

“Wow, that is… all of that was wrong. Here I thought it was just a one-off mistake.”

Alyssa sighed and turned. “Of course.”

Emma, leaning in the doorway, grinned at her. “I was coming to make sure everything was straightened up in here after you left, but I found something better.”

“We always leave it spotless, because no one is supposed to know that Shelby and Kaylee have been training me.”

“Hey, I’m not going to say anything.” Emma walked forward and picked up Alyssa’s dagger, bringing it back to her. “Do you want to keep trying at this until you accidentally stab yourself in the knee, or do you want me to show you how it’s done?”

“Depends. Are we going to end up making out again?”

Emma snorted. “I think we can handle one conversation.”

“Then… yes. Please. Show me how to use this stupid thing.”

“It’s not a _horse,_ Alyssa. You can just stab someone with it. The throwing part is just finesse.” Emma took Alyssa’s hand and put her fingers into a firm but delicate grip on the blade of the dagger. “You have to be careful,” she said softly. “It’s a double-edged blade, so if you don’t place your fingers properly, you’ll cut yourself. They’re perfectly balanced, so you don’t need to worry about which side the weight favors.”

Emma stepped behind Alyssa, and Alyssa’s breath caught in her throat as her hand brushed up Alyssa’s arm. “Your target is at a middle distance, so you’ll want to bend your wrist just a little bit. Put your left foot in front of you, and keep your weight back on your right foot, and you’re going to shift your weight between them as you throw.”

Alyssa swallowed heavily as Emma’s hand moved down to her hip. “Okay.”

“Keep your body pretty straight, and release when your arm is horizontal with the floor. It won’t come to you immediately.”

Emma took a few steps back, and Alyssa felt like she could breathe again. She got the grip, tested the arm motion a few times, and then threw.

The handle of the dagger clattered off the wall, but if was far closer to target than her original throw.

“Oh, wow. That felt so much better.”

“It takes time, but you’ll get there with practice.”

“How did _you_ get there?” Alyssa asked as she retrieved her dagger. “What made you learn how to throw knives of all things?”

“It’s easier than throwing swords.”

Alyssa glared at her.

Emma laughed and spun one of the daggers from her belt into the air, catching it by the handle easily. “It’s just something I picked up. A hobby, I suppose. It was nice to have a knife on me while we traveled, just in case I needed it, and throwing it was always something that earned me a drink at taverns.”

Alyssa threw the dagger again, and it went far off course, slamming into the sword chest. She winced.

“Whoa, okay, you’re going to hurt yourself.” Emma walked back over to her and handed her one of the daggers from her belt. She put her hands on Alyssa’s hips and repositioned her. “You need to-”

Heat stormed its way through Alyssa’s body, and it was so overwhelming that she shouldered Emma away from her. “I can do it myself,” she snapped.

Emma backed off, hands raised in front of her. “Okay. Whoa. Alyssa-”

“Jesus,” Alyssa said, sliding the dagger into the scabbard on her belt. “Jesus, I can’t do this. I can’t fucking do this. I want you too damn much.”

“Yeah, and I want _you_ too damn much, but every time we end up back here all we end up doing is _yelling at each other!”_

“Because I don’t want to deny it anymore!” Alyssa stormed towards her, backing her up until she was against the wall. “I don’t want _my_ title to keep me from being happy! I don’t want to be afraid of being in the same room as you! I’m so fucking tired of fighting you because it’s the only thing I can do with the tension in my system every time I look at you! I’m so damn desperate to get you out of my head that I’m half tempted to kiss _anybody else_ because maybe I’ll finally be able to get you out of my system and act like a normal person!”

“Do it, then,” Emma challenged. “Anything to get you to stop _looking at me like that!”_

Alyssa got closer. “Like _what?”_

“Like-” Emma grabbed her and pulled her in, kissing her hard on the mouth.

Alyssa whimpered, her hands gripping Emma’s shoulders and trailing, heavy, down Emma’s arms.

Emma gave a sharp gasp of pain and pulled back suddenly as Alyssa’s hand trailed over her left forearm.

“What’s wrong?” Alyssa asked, confused and a little disoriented.

“Nothing,” Emma whispered, her teeth gritted. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

“You’re not. What’s wrong with your arm?”

_“Nothing.”_

Alyssa’s brow furrowed as she tried to search Emma’s eyes for any sign that something was wrong.

Emma kept avoiding her.

Alyssa took the dagger off of her belt, raised Emma’s right arm so that it was against the wall next to her head, and drove the dagger through her sleeve, pinning her arm to the wall.

Emma’s eyes widened, a faint pink flush forming on her face. “Uh… What are you…”

Alyssa lifted Emma’s left arm carefully, holding her by the wrist. She gripped the doublet’s sleeve and slowly pushed it back.

There was a thick bandage wrapped around Emma’s forearm.

“Emma,” Alyssa said slowly. Her brain was spinning, making connections where she didn’t want them, overwhelming. “Where did you get this? What happened?”

“It’s nothing,” Emma replied. “It’s fine.”

“I didn’t ask how it was. I asked how it happened.”

“Alyssa,” Emma whispered. “Please. Don’t make me lie to you.”

Alyssa took a step back. “Why would you have to lie to me, Emma?”

Emma used her left arm to yank the dagger out of the wall, freeing her right arm. She slid the dagger back into her scabbard and slowly pulled her sleeve back down. “I’m going to go. You should keep practicing.”

She walked out of the room, and Alyssa wandered over to retrieve her own dagger.

There was something that needed to be bandaged on Emma’s left arm.

The same arm where the thief had been bit.

She could throw knives, too, which Alyssa knew the thief could also do, but she couldn’t…

Alyssa shook her head. Emma was not the thief. She couldn’t be.

The thief was quick and graceful, and could jump from the top of walls, and Emma had, just that morning, tripped over a bucket of water Barry left in the dining hall.

She had been quick and clever and able to climb up to small places when they were children, but that was then.

The thief didn’t wear glasses – Alyssa had been close enough that she was certain she would’ve seen a glint from the glass or metal – and Emma did.

She hadn’t when they were children, and Alyssa didn’t remember asking when it had happened, but that was then.

The thief shot a bow left-handed, but used a sword right-handed, and Emma used her right hand exclusively.

Thinking back, Alyssa didn’t remember if that had always been the case.

She shook her head again, firm, sticking her dagger back in its scabbard as she left the room.

Emma was not the thief. She wasn’t.

She _couldn’t_ be.

Because if _Emma_ was the thief, if _Emma_ had stolen from the royal gold reserve, if _Emma_ had stolen from the nobles’ supply of food, if _Emma_ had openly mocked the baroness by stealing from the gold vault on her own manor grounds…

There would not be a single thing Alyssa could do to spare her from the noose.

* * *

Alyssa went for a walk, at night, on the grounds of the manor.

She wanted to have time alone to collect her thoughts, to try to come to her senses.

She circled the grounds three times, lost in her own mind, when a quiet sound caught her attention. She walked over to the food storage shed, curious, and when she stepped around a corner a sword leveled at her face.

“Well,” the man in front of her said softly. “Look what we have here.”

The woman next to him, who had been loading a few bags with food to steal, raised her head. “Is that who I think it is?” she hissed.

The man nodded. “The baroness’ brat. Tell me, girl, do you think your mother would pay good money for us to return you? Would she send more if we returned you one piece at a time?”

“Look,” Alyssa said, taking a small step back and wincing as the man and sword moved with her. “I’m on your side, okay? I want things to be better, too. It’s just taking me time to make a difference. Killing me won’t make things change. It’ll only make them work.”

“Oh, I’m not talking about killing you. At least, not yet. I’m just suggesting that we cut off little pieces of you and send them back to your mother until she pays us enough to get the rest of you. Presumably, you’ll still be alive at that point, if she gives even half a damn about you.”

Alyssa laughed nervously and tried to take another step back. “Uh… I-I…”

An arrow sped out of the darkness and struck the man in his shoulder. The thief rushed past Alyssa, already sliding their bow onto their back, and they grabbed him by the front of his tunic before he fell.

Alyssa flinched as the thief punched the man in the face, repeatedly, then let him fall to the ground with a dull _thud_. The thief drew back another arrow and aimed it at the woman, who immediately raised her hands.

The thief paused for a moment before gesturing towards the open door of the food shed. The woman blinked before getting into it, and the thief shoved the man inside as well before slamming the door closed and jamming an arrow in the hinges to prevent it from opening.

They turned and started to walk away, and Alyssa followed.

“I’ll have the knights get them out.” She picked up her pace to catch up. “I, uhm, I need to thank you, uhm…” She took in a breath and sharply said, _“Please!”_

The thief stopped and turned to face her. Alyssa could see that, in the adrenaline of punching the man, the part of the cloak covering their nose and mouth had slipped down to their chin.

“I should not be out this late,” Alyssa said, her voice soft. “I needed a walk in the moonlight. I needed to think. Have you ever done that?”

The thief turned away, and Alyssa swore that their jawline was familiar, but she shoved the thought aside.

“This is about the fourth time you’ve saved my life. I know you’re a thief, but I still respect you for having enough courage to do that.” Alyssa took a small step closer, and she felt relief when the thief didn’t move. “I’m not my mother,” she whispered. “That might be hard to believe, but it’s the truth. All I want is to be free of all of this, and, if I can’t have that, I hope that someday I can be a better leader than those who came before me.”

She stepped closer still, until she could hear the soft, shaky breathing of the one in front of her. “If you doubted that, you wouldn’t have saved me all those times in the woods. You wouldn’t have saved me tonight. I’d be more trouble to you than that effort would be worth.”

Alyssa closed her eyes. She had the thought that, if this thief was not Emma, maybe she could finally get her out of her system.

If they were, she only had one way left to find out.

She leaned in, reckless, and pressed a kiss to the thief’s mouth. They tensed, briefly, then kissed her back for just a moment. Then they backed up, giving a sharp whistle, and a horse burst into the courtyard. By the time Alyssa opened her eyes, horse and rider were gone.

Alyssa took a step back, her hand coming up to her mouth.

She knew them. She _knew_ who that was.

She’d kissed those lips before.

_Emma._

Alyssa staggered over to the closest nearby wall and leaned against it, sliding down until she was seated.

Emma.

It was Emma.

“Oh, God,” Alyssa whispered, tears forming in her eyes. “Emma, what have you done?”


	7. the breaking of day (don't make a sound)

Emma landed on the roof and slammed her foot down on it once, hard.

When the window didn’t open, she sighed in frustration and jumped to the building next to it, bringing her heel down with the same sharp noise. The shutter below her opened, and she dropped down to the windowsill, slipping inside.

“What’s the commotion out there?” Dee Dee asked, idly sharpening a sword.

“Those fools who tried to steal from the food. I had to take them out; they were going to try to ransom Alyssa back to the baroness.”

Dee Dee scoffed. “Idiots. I tried to warn them that it would be a mistake to do anything other than steal.”

“Stealing was a stupid move to begin with.” Emma jerked a thumb over her shoulder. “What’s going on next door? Is Angie still out at one of the base buildings?”

“No. She and Barry and Sheldon are with… uhm… what’s his name…”

“Trent?”

“Yes! That one. They seem to like him. I think they were at school together.”

“That’s nice. They need more friends.” Emma put her bow away. “I’m going to get some sleep.”

“Good. You look like you need some.”

“Uh… What do you mean?”

Dee Dee squinted at her. “You look tired. You’re overworking yourself.”

“Right. Right. Goodnight.”

Emma shut the door and leaned against it, letting out a shaky breath. She touched her lips gently, her eyes closing.

“Holy shit.”

* * *

Alyssa leaned on the railing of a small balcony of the manor, looking down into the courtyard, where Shelby was supervising an archery competition between Kaylee, Kevin, and Nick.

“Get some accuracy, would you?” Shelby yelled, teasing, as Nick’s arrow hit slightly off center while Kaylee’s and Kevin’s both hit dead on the middle of their targets.

Alyssa laughed and shouted down, “We already know Nick can’t beat them. Figuring out whether Kaylee or Kevin is better is the real question.”

Shelby grinned at both of them, affection visible even from where Alyssa was standing. “I’m not sure that’s possible.”

“I mean, I can do a trick shot with Shelby that Kevin’s too afraid to do,” Kaylee said.

Kevin dropped his bow. “No. Kaylee, don’t. You’re both going to _die._ Can you please-.”

Shelby drew her sword, grinning. “Bring it on.”

Kaylee pulled back an arrow, aimed, and released it, directly at Shelby’s chest. The moment it got close to her, Shelby slashed it out of the air with her sword.

Kevin made a half-whine half-sigh sound and covered his face with his hands. “Why do you two do this?”

Kaylee kissed him on the cheek. “It’s good practice!”

“Yeah!” Shelby walked over and kissed him on his other cheek. “You could try it sometime. I trust you.”

“I don’t think I trust myself not to have a heart attack,” Kevin muttered.

Nick took another shot at the target and snorted. “Man, your life is way too complicated.”

Alyssa grinned as they shoved each other around, taking a few more shots at the targets including one from Shelby sitting on Kevin’s shoulders.

She tensed when her mother walked onto the balcony and leaned next to her.

“Your knights are very bonded. It will serve you well in the future.”

“They are my friends, Mother,” Alyssa said softly. “I do not want them to serve me. I just want to spend time with them.”

“Your time is better spent up here, observing.” Baroness Greene straightened, setting her hands on the banister. “I wanted to inform you, there has been an increase in bandit activity on the roads near the river.”

“What will we be doing about it?”

“We are moving our supply runs to different roads, and I would like you to avoid going out there for the near future.”

Alyssa frowned. “But what are we going to do about the _bandits?”_

“They are not our concern as long as they stay out near the river. We will deal with reorganizing first, and then I will send knights out to patrol the area.”

“What of the civilians who have to take those roads?”

“They can walk along different paths.”

Alyssa bit her lip. “Of course, Mother.”

“Hey, Emma!”

Alyssa looked down at Kaylee’s voice, and saw that Emma was walking past the group below them, pausing only as Kaylee got her attention.

“Come here, give this a try!”

Alyssa felt her heart tighten in her chest as Kaylee held a bow out to Emma. She glanced at her mother, who was watching the scene passively.

Emma paused for only a moment before walking over and taking the bow far too high up on the handle and in an awkward position. Alyssa mentally noted that she was holding it right-handed, opposite of the thief, as Kaylee adjusted her grip and Kevin got an arrow for her.

Emma pulled back slowly, squinting, and released her arrow, hitting far to the left lower edge of the target.

Shelby laughed and patted her on the back. “Hey, at least you didn’t hit the brick wall behind it.”

“Yeah, I think I’m going to stick to a mandolin,” Emma said dryly, handing the bow back to Kaylee. “I think it might be safer.”

“Alyssa,” Baroness Greene said as she watched the knights try to convince Emma to take another shot. “Have you been spending any time with that musician? The stablehand?”

Alyssa paused as if giving it careful thought. “No, Mother. Why?”

“I do not trust her. I believe she used to work here when you were children, do you remember?”

“Yes.”

“Hm. Do not let her and her common blood distract you from the future you have.” Baroness Greene turned and walked back into the manor.

Alyssa closed her eyes, shuddering in the cool spring breeze.

* * *

Emma picked up one of the practice targets and carried it over to a small storage shed, where she placed it on a rack with others. She brushed her hands off on her pants and turned, stopping suddenly when she saw Alyssa in the doorway.

“Oh. Alyssa. Hi.”

“Hey.” Alyssa stepped inside and closed the door behind her. “How is… whatever you did to your arm?”

Emma rubbed at her sleeve, self-conscious. “It’s fine.”

She took a few steps closer, and Emma shifted back a bit without meaning to. Alyssa paused, but instead of being offended, there was a glint in her eyes that was almost amused. “I figured I would tell you,” she said casually, adjusting the dagger on her belt. “I’m going to go out for a walk down by the river.”

“The…” Emma hesitated, thinking through her working knowledge of threats in the area.

Knowing damn well that the river was a _horrible idea._

“Are you sure you really want to go there?”

“Of course.” Alyssa smiled. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“It’s just, I don’t know, it’s not really…” Emma paused again. “I mean, what if you fell in?”

“I can swim, Emma.”

“Oh. Right. Uhm.”

Alyssa shrugged, still smiling, a smug edge to her lips as she got even closer. “I think it might be nice to have a walk. Who knows? Maybe I’ll run into that thief again. They _have_ saved my life a few times.”

“H-Have they?” Emma stammered, backing up again as Alyssa pushed further into her space.

“Oh, yes. You know, a while ago I was told that, in order to get over you, I should try kissing someone else. Do you remember me saying that?”

Emma cleared her throat. “Vaguely?”

Alyssa beamed at her, eyes sparkling. “Well, I did it. I kissed the thief, last night, after they protected me from some people breaking into the food storage.”

“O-Oh. And, uhm… How… How was that?”

“Would you like me to be honest, Emma?” At Emma’s nod, Alyssa’s grin widened. “It was _good._ In fact, I think I finally got you out of my system. Congratulations.”

“I-I… uh… That’s… That’s good,” Emma said weakly, a rush of… _jealousy_ going through her.

Jesus Christ.

Alyssa patted her on the cheek. “Try not to look so stunned, Emma. It’s a good thing!” She gave Emma another smug look as she went to the door. “Now, I’ll be heading out on my walk. You enjoy yourself, okay?”

The door slammed shut, and Emma flinched.

“What the _fuck,”_ she whispered.

* * *

Alyssa paced along the riverbank, rubbing her hands together.

It was not her most well thought out plan, but it had potential to work, as long as the dumb, slack-jawed look on Emma’s face as she left didn’t mean that Emma would forget what she had said about her travel plans.

She was staring at the ground, not paying much attention, when she suddenly walked directly into the thief, standing in her path.

“Oh,” Alyssa said, taking a few steps back. “Hello.”

The thief pointed their bow at the path that led back to the manor.

“Yes. I know. You want me to go home.”

The thief gestured again, more insistently.

“No. We need to talk first.”

They moved behind her and tried to push her towards the path, and Alyssa stepped out of their reach, spinning around, the anger she had been suppressing bubbling to the surface.

_“Dammit, Emma, we are not leaving here until we talk!”_

The thief stopped, bow now slack at their side.

Alyssa sighed heavily. “Yes. I know it’s you.”

The thief shook their head, and Alyssa stormed forward, poking them forcefully in the collarbone.

_“Emma._ I know it’s you! How stupid do you think I am? We kissed! _I know what you taste like!”_

The thief made an admittedly-hilarious exasperated motion with their arms and shoulders, then reached up, pulling down their cloak and hood. Emma glared at her.

“Okay! Great! _Can we talk about this somewhere fucking else?”_

_“Why?”_ Alyssa demanded.

Emma’s bow came up just in time to knock aside an arrow that was flying at Alyssa’s face. _“That’s why!”_

She pulled her hood back up and turned as a group of bandits came out of the trees, blocking them from all paths away from the river.

Alyssa’s stomach flipped. Right. That was why her plan had not been the best she had ever come up with.

Emma released two arrows, hitting one bandit in the shoulder and another in the leg. Alyssa heard her curse as more bandits replaced the ones that had fallen.

“Screw this,” Emma mumbled. She put her bow over her shoulders and grabbed Alyssa’s arm.

“What exactly are you going to-”

Alyssa was cut off as Emma dragged her to the river and jumped in.

* * *

Alyssa climbed onto the riverbank, spluttering and coughing, and she shoved Emma away from her as she tried to help. “You’re an _asshole,”_ she spat.

“Oh, I’m _so sorry,”_ Emma growled, pushing her hood back down so she could look Alyssa in the eye. “Next time you decide to try to get yourself killed for the _fifteenth time_ I’ll make sure there’s a better escape route planned for you, _m’lady.”_

“It has been _far less_ than fifteen,” Alyssa protested. “Most were not my fault!”

Emma scoffed and rolled her eyes, stalking off down the river. Alyssa hurried after her, still angry.

“You have _no_ room to talk. Look at you! How many times have you almost died doing this?”

“That’s different.”

_“Is it?_ At least I’m not throwing myself places where trained knights are trying to skewer me!”

Emma glanced over her shoulder and smirked. “They haven’t managed it yet, have they?”

“Because you’re the luckiest damn person alive!”

“Yeah, so lucky, the woman who swears she wants to be with me goes and kisses some thief.”

Alyssa picked up a pinecone and threw it hard at the back of Emma’s head. It made her even madder when Emma didn’t flinch. _“Are you kidding me right now? It was you!”_

“You didn’t know that!” Emma shot back.

“I had plenty of suspicions, given the fucking _wolf bite_ you both share.”

“There wasn’t a single bit of proof that I had a wolf bite, thank you _very_ much!”

“Oh my _God,”_ Alyssa said. “Oh my _God._ I’m going to kill you with my bare hands.”

“You’ll have to wait, because we need to get out of the rain.”

_“What rain?”_

“It’s coming. You can smell it.”

Alyssa stopped. “Jesus Christ, what _are_ you?”

Emma paused and turned around. “Can you just wait five damn minutes and we’ll talk about it? You are the most impatient woman I’ve ever met.” She grumbled something else under her breath that Alyssa couldn’t hear, then continued walking, heading into the forest.

“I’m going to kill her,” Alyssa murmured, following. “I’m actually going to kill her.”

* * *

It was raining when they came upon a small building, hidden deep within the woods. Emma walked up to it and lifted the thick lock on the door, opening it with a key she pulled out of one of her pockets.

“What is this place?” Alyssa asked, shivering in her soaked clothes and the cool rain.

“I have places set up all over the barony that I can come to in case it’s too dangerous to get back to the manor. Some of them were places we used before we officially lived there. Others were just hiding spots.”

“We,” Alyssa whispered. “The Broadway. They help you.”

Emma held the door open, ushering Alyssa inside before closing and locking it behind them. “They trained me.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“They’re not _just_ musicians. All of them are former mercenaries. Dee Dee claims she used to be a knight, but none of us are all that certain we buy it.”

Alyssa stared at her. “Angie helped me _pick out a stupid dress for my mother’s stupid party.”_

“Yeah. She’s also the one who taught me how to throw daggers. Dee Dee taught me how to use a sword. Barry taught me how to use a bow. Sheldon taught me how to blend in and use stealth.” Emma gave a short laugh as she checked the fireplace before sticking a log of wood into it. “He taught me six different styles of whistle, and I can only remember to use one.”

“But you’re…” Alyssa shook her head. _“Why?”_

Emma waited until the fire roared up, then turned to her. “You need to take your jerkin and boots off.”

“What?”

“You’re soaking wet, Alyssa, and it’s not good to sit in everything the whole time you dry. We’re not going anywhere yet in this rain, so calm down and try not to get a sickness.”

Emma took off her cloak, and Alyssa could finally see the full clothing she wore underneath it – black boots, blue-gray pants, a black leather jerkin, and a blue-gray doublet.

“You were in a black doublet when we had our wolf incident,” Alyssa said quietly.

“I was wearing old clothes that I could grab from a hiding spot in the market area. I had to change pretty quickly, because you attract danger like a hobby.” Emma took off her jerkin, her boots, and her socks and set them near the fireplace, then looked at Alyssa expectantly.

Alyssa rolled her eyes and undid the ties on her jerkin. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

“Which one?” Emma asked, moving out of the way so Alyssa could add her own jerkin, boots, and socks to the pile by the fire.

“Why the hell are you doing this?”

Emma was quiet for a moment. “You can’t even begin to imagine what it was like. That walk back in the dark, the only thing I could see was what that river looked like below me. Only thing I could feel was that sword against my back. Only thing I could hear was your mother’s voice, over and over, demanding that I confess to what I did to you as I begged her not to kill me.”

Alyssa closed her eyes and turned away, her jaw clenched.

“I… At a certain point, I don’t know, it just all… stopped. I couldn’t feel any of it anymore. All I wanted was…” Emma’s voice got so quiet that Alyssa could barely hear it over the rain pounding on the roof. “All I wanted was to find a way to kill your mother.”

“Emma,” Alyssa whispered.

“I-I… I couldn’t… I couldn’t… _take…_ that being who I was. That being what my heart wanted. I told myself that, if I got home, I’d do everything in my power to make things _better._ Not to make them worse. Not to give into the part of myself that I found on that gorge.” Emma shook her head and looked down.

“You didn’t,” Alyssa said, taking a step closer.

“No. I didn’t. Because I got back to the manor, and I said goodbye to my grandmother, and then only a few days later the Broadway found me. They helped me. Maybe it wasn’t in a way that should have been my path, but… people are dying out there, Alyssa. I know you care about them, but that can’t help them _now._ ” Emma shrugged. “I can help them now.”

“You can.” Alyssa stepped closer and reached up, lightly stroking Emma’s cheek. “You’ll die for it,” she murmured. “You know that, right? I-I can’t… Dammit, Emma, I can’t save you from _this._ If my mother finds out who is under that hood, she’ll have you hanged. I won’t be able to stop it.”

“I know.” Emma gripped Alyssa’s wrist and softly kissed her palm. “I’m willing.”

Alyssa laughed quietly. “You won’t risk it to kiss me, though?”

Emma sighed and lowered Alyssa’s hand. “My hope was that you wouldn’t have to know. You wouldn’t have to live with it. If your mother caught me, perhaps she wouldn’t be vindictive enough to make you watch. If I was killed in the field, well, it would already be over by the time you found out. But being with you would be… It would’ve been like asking you to live with risking my life, every day, without knowing that I already had a price on my head to begin with. I couldn’t bring myself to put you through that.”

Alyssa’s heart pounded painfully. “Would’ve been?”

Emma leaned forward, resting her forehead against Alyssa’s. “I’m still in love with you,” she admitted. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what I am.”

“I’m sorry that I didn’t figure it out sooner,” Alyssa murmured.

Emma laughed. “I was kind of trying to be good at this whole thing, you know.”

“Oh, you’ve done very well. I just think I should be better at guessing that the woman I’m in love with is two feet away from me in a disguise that’s just a cloak.”

Emma pulled back slightly, blinking at her. “Woman you’re in love with?”

Alyssa kissed her, light and chaste, on the lips. “That hasn’t been obvious?”

“Well. You never know. I might’ve just thought I’d stolen you.”

“Don’t ruin the moment, Miss Nolan.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, m’lady.”

Alyssa gripped Emma’s collar and directed her towards the bed, maintaining their close distance. “I’m reading this right,” she said suddenly, stopping as Emma’s legs hit the edge of the mattress. “Aren’t I? Please, just tell me we’re not going to stop again.”

Emma lifted her chin and kissed her, long and slow and _hot._

“Alyssa. I’m not stopping unless you do.”

Alyssa groaned quietly and shoved Emma backwards onto the bed. “Oh, thank God.”


	8. scared to get caught (told her the truth)

Alyssa flinched as a sunbeam came in through the window and hit her eyes. She rolled over and smiled as she saw Emma, asleep on her stomach, her head resting half on the pillow and half on her arms.

She reached out, gently brushing her fingers along a thick scar that ran diagonally across Emma’s back.

Emma grumbled and turned her head, burying it into the pillow. “God, why. Please go back to sleep.”

Alyssa laughed softly and kissed Emma’s shoulder. “We have to get up, my love. People will be looking for us.”

“Grph.” Emma rolled over and ran a hand over her face. “We could just stay here.”

“Don’t tempt me.” Alyssa gently stroked Emma’s cheek. “Could I ask… Where’s the scar from?”

“Mistake when I was first starting out. Got too close to a knight’s sword. I thought Dee Dee was going to kill me when I stumbled back home all covered in blood.”

“I’d probably kill you for that, too.”

Emma snorted. “Thanks a lot.”

Alyssa pulled Emma’s left hand to her and kissed her palm. “Do I get to ask a second question? I was cataloguing them because I was too busy to ask last night.”

“You can ask me whatever you want.” Emma moved forward, pushing Alyssa onto her back and idly kissing her neck. “As long as I can do this while you ask.”

“Cruel,” Alyssa mumbled. She threaded her fingers through Emma’s hair. “The calluses on your hand. Are they from your bow?”

“Mhm. That’s why I shoot left-handed. I can claim they came from my mandolin.”

“You’re a clever little jackass, aren’t you?” Alyssa’s breath caught in her throat as Emma’s hands wandered.

“I certainly like to think that I’m _very_ clever, m’lady.”

“You’re trying to distract me,” Alyssa muttered.

“It’s working though, isn’t it?”

Alyssa groaned quietly. “It is. But we really need to get back to the manor.”

Emma chuckled against Alyssa’s throat. “You can give me a few more minutes before we go back to reality, can’t you?”

“Yes,” Alyssa whispered. “Yes, I can.”

* * *

They stood at the edge of the forest, looking up at the walls of the manor.

“We’ll talk as soon as we can,” Alyssa said, soft, tugging Emma closer to her by the collar of her jerkin. “I promise.”

“I know.” Emma reached up and gently stroked Alyssa’s cheek with her thumb before kissing her. “I’ll meet you if I can.”

Alyssa pressed their foreheads together, surprised by how her voice cracked as she said, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Emma murmured.

They lingered there for a moment, unwilling to let each other go. Then Alyssa kissed her again, hard, and walked away towards the gates of the manor.

* * *

Alyssa’s room was full of knights. Nick was in a corner, his chair leaned back, making something that looked like a straw stick. Kevin, Shelby, and Kaylee were asleep in a small pile on the other side of the room. Kevin had removed his jerkin and was using it as a pillow on the floor, while Shelby rested her head on his chest and Kaylee sprawled on top of both of them.

“Hi,” Alyssa said, her voice quiet.

Nick looked up and set aside what he was working on, getting up and walking over to her. “Hey,” he greeted softly. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Are they?”

He looked back at the others, a sadness in his eyes. “They’ve had a long day.”

“What-”

“Where have you _been?”_ Shelby demanded, getting up as soon as she opened her eyes and saw Alyssa.

Kaylee’s head fell to the ground with an unceremonious thud. “Ow,” she grumbled. “Shelby, what the hell.”

“Alyssa’s back.”

Kaylee shoved at Kevin’s shoulder until he woke up. _“Alyssa’s back.”_

Alyssa took a small step back against her closed door as her four friends were suddenly all in front of her.

“Are you okay?” Shelby demanded. “What happened? We had to invent things to tell your mother, and it was starting to get scary with that storm out there. It was so bad that some of the buildings in town fell down and trees were blown into the gorge.”

“I’m fine,” Alyssa said, holding her hands in front of her. “I-I just… uhm…” She bowed her head, her voice lowered. “I, uh… I was with Emma.”

There was a long pause. “Oh,” Kevin finally said. “Wait, do you mean… like…”

“Yeah, Kev, that’s what she means.” Shelby cleared her throat. “Kevin, Nick, could you give us the room, please? I think this is a girl conversation.”

“Sure.” Nick patted Kevin on the shoulder and led him out of the room, pausing only to mutter “I’m glad you’re okay” to Alyssa as they passed.

As soon as the door closed again, Shelby said, “What the _hell_ were you thinking?”

Alyssa felt the anger and frustration she had been shoving aside surge to the surface. “I was thinking that I’m tired of having some role that was forced on me dictate my life,” she growled, pushing past Shelby and walking further into her room.

“That’s not just you, Alyssa,” Kaylee said, quiet, giving Shelby a nervous look.

Shelby, looking furious, took a few steps closer to Alyssa. “You are _not_ the only one who is fed up! You don’t want that, great. I don’t want a title that forces me to be a hostage of my own best friend’s mother from the age of _four!_ If something had happened to you tonight, your mother would’ve taken it out on us for not protecting you!”

“Shelby,” Kaylee whispered, running her hand along Shelby’s back. “It’s not her fault.”

“No,” Alyssa said quietly. “You’re right, Shelby. I should’ve been more careful. Believe me, I understand.” She looked away, tears coming to her eyes. “I-I… I’m guilty of a lot of things, and I know I’ll never be the one who pays for it.”

Shelby closed her eyes and turned away for a moment, rubbing at her face with her hand. “Alyssa, I… You are not your mother. You are not the one who is doing this to us. I just… I’m _scared,_ okay? And you putting yourself at risk is not helping me get over that.”

Alyssa sat down on her bed, staring blankly at the open window. “She’s going to be killed, you know.”

Kaylee walked over and sat down next to her. “What do you mean?”

“My mother… if she ever finds out about Emma, my mother will have her killed.” Alyssa swallowed. “Just for being a commoner and being in love with me.”

“Jesus,” Shelby mumbled. She walked over and sat on Alyssa’s opposite side. “Alyssa, you can’t put yourself through this. Believe me, it hurts too much.”

Alyssa grabbed Shelby and hugged her tightly, feeling the tears starting to pour down her cheeks. “I can’t,” she whispered. “It hurts too much already.”

She felt Kaylee hug them both. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll figure it out.”

Shelby sighed quietly. “Somehow.”

* * *

Alyssa met Emma outside of the wall and followed her into the forest.

“Taking me into an isolated location, Miss Nolan? Should I worry for my safety?”

Emma snorted and reached out to help Alyssa over a fallen log. “I should worry for _my_ safety at the rate you attract deadly encounters.”

Alyssa pouted at her. “Don’t be so mean.”

“I’m not mean.” Emma led her into a small clearing. “We’re here so you can practice some more.”

“Practice what?”

Emma took her dagger off of her belt and threw it at a nearby tree, where it embedded solidly in the wood.

Alyssa blinked. “Oh.”

“This is where I usually practice.” Emma held out her second dagger to Alyssa. “Have you been practicing?”

“Yes.”

Emma smirked. “How much?”

“Hm.” Alyssa threw her own dagger, and it struck the tree, not as firmly as the one Emma threw, but still solid and straight.

“Not bad.” Emma went over to retrieve both. “You could do better, though.”

“If she wants to do better, she’ll need a better teacher than you.”

Emma rolled her eyes and glared at Angie as she stepped out of the trees. “I’m a perfectly fine teacher.”

“She’s really not.” Angie walked over to Alyssa and patted her on the shoulder. “You’re not going to get a lot of good advice from this one, sweetheart.”

“Oh, I know. She’s just really cute.”

“The last thing I need is for you two to become friends,” Emma muttered, throwing another dagger and missing the tree entirely.

* * *

“I took something out of my hiding spot in the stables today,” Alyssa said, leaning on her windowsill next to Emma.

“Oh?”

Alyssa pulled a thin necklace out from under her doublet, a thin leather strip with a brown tourmaline stone hanging from it. “Do you remember this?”

_I got something for you. It reminded me of your eyes._

“Oh my God,” Emma whispered, gently taking the stone between her fingers. “We were… what, eleven?”

“You were pretty smooth even at eleven.”

_You stole it, didn’t you?_

_Well… Maybe. It’s the thought that counts, and I have no money._

_You’re lucky I like you so much, Nolan._

Emma chuckled softly. “I was nervous as hell.” She turned and hopped down to stand on the floor, leaning against the wall and watching Alyssa. “You know, that was the day I decided it.”

“Decided what?”

_I was hoping that would happen._

_What would happen?_

“That I’d do anything to make you happy. Anything.” Emma brushed a strand of hair off of her face. “What would make you happy, Alyssa Greene?”

“I…” Alyssa paused. “I was telling the truth. Before. I don’t think I want to be the baroness. I saw what it did to my mother. How cold it made her. I can’t let that happen to me. I don’t want something that does nothing but keep me from you.”

_You smiled. I wasn’t sure I’d see you smile again after your father died._

_You have a special way to make me smile, Emma Nolan. Don’t let it go to your head._

“You’re the only one who can do it, Alyssa,” Emma said softly. “The people need you. You’re the only one who can make change on a widespread level. I can help people in small bursts, but you’re the only one who can make things _better.”_

Alyssa closed her eyes and sighed, resting her head against Emma’s. “Why does it have to be us? Why does all of this have to lie on our shoulders?”

“I don’t know,” Emma admitted softly. “I wish it didn’t, love. I really wish it didn’t.” She pulled back gently. “I need to go. Dee Dee told me that a supply shipment is coming in from the earl, and I’m going to grab them for one of the smaller villages that’s been beaten to hell by those bandits.”

“Be careful. Please.”

Emma grinned and jumped up onto the windowsill. “I always am, aren’t I?”

“Of course. Whatever you say, honey.” Alyssa winked at her.

Emma stared at her for a moment, looking a little dazed. She took a step backwards and slipped, falling off of the window.

_“Emma!”_ Alyssa hissed, panicked.

There was a small clattering noise, and Emma dragged herself back up onto the ledge. “Sorry,” she said weakly.

Alyssa shook her head slowly. “One of these days, staring at me is going to get you killed.”

Emma grinned. “It would be worth it.”

* * *

Alyssa leaned on the railing of the balcony, enjoying the warm spring air, and tensed as her mother joined her.

“I sent notice to the villages.”

“Of?” Alyssa prompted warily.

“Too much gold and supplies have been stolen by this thief. Until they are brought to justice and we are able to recover what we have lost, taxes will be doubled. Anyone who cannot pay will be imprisoned.”

Alyssa rounded on her, furious. “The people cannot _afford that,_ Mother. You will have more prisoners than you have cells.”

“It is what must be done. We must motivate the people to end this nuisance for good.”

“A nuisance?” Alyssa laughed. “Are they a nuisance, or are they the only one doing anything right in this place?”

Baroness Greene glared at her. “Mind yourself, Alyssa. Do not let yourself be caught up in the false heroics of a criminal.”

“Yeah. I would hate to believe that anyone in this barony actually cares about someone other than themselves.” Alyssa turned, her hands clenched into fists, and stormed back into the manor.


	9. the verge of breaking down (not a second too late)

The dagger hit the wall with a loud _thud,_ and Alyssa gave a small, satisfied smile before she went to retrieve it.

“Where did you learn to do that?”

Alyssa glanced at Nick as he entered the room. “A friend showed me.”

He nodded and watched as she threw it again. “I heard what your mother did. The order.”

“She’s out of her mind. The people won’t be able to withstand this.” Alyssa shook her head and sighed. “I don’t know what to do, Nick.”

“You always know what to do. You’ll figure it out.” Nick leaned against the wall and sighed. “I thought that you should know what I was going to say to you the other night. About Kevin, Kaylee, and Shelby. They’re trying not to worry you, but I think, even if you can’t help, you should at least know what’s going on.”

Alyssa absentmindedly flipped the dagger a few times in her hand. “What’s going on?”

“Shelby’s father found out about Kaylee and Kevin. One of his knights was here to bring a letter to the baroness, and he saw her kiss them both. He’s… furious.”

Alyssa closed her eyes. “Oh, God.”

“You know how much Lord Gonzales hates both Kaylee’s parents and Kevin’s parents. He only pretends to get along with them at meetings with your mother.” Nick sighed heavily and ran his hands over his face. “He got in touch with _my_ father, and both of those political bastards are trying to ‘solve the problem’ by… well…” He trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

It took Alyssa a moment to realize what he was saying. “Oh, Jesus,” she whispered. “They want to force you to marry Shelby.”

Nick cleared his throat. “I sent my father a letter. I told him that I wouldn’t do it. That I’d rather throw away my claim to inherit his lordship than do that to my friends. I-I just…” He cleared his throat again, looking overwhelmed. “I don’t know what to do if they won’t accept that. And I’m terrified of what Shelby’s parents might do to her if she doesn’t do what they want.”

Alyssa bit her lip, her hands clenched into fists and shaking. “They won’t get a chance to touch her,” she whispered. “I don’t care what it takes, Nick. I’ve had enough of this. I can’t let you all be used as pawns anymore.”

“What will you do?”

“I don’t know.” Alyssa headed for the door, patting his shoulder as she passed him. “But I think I know who to ask.”

* * *

Alyssa pounded on the door of one of the buildings for the Broadway. “Emma? _Emma!”_

The door swung open, and Dee Dee squinted down at her. “M’lady,” she said warily. “What can I do for you?”

“Please,” Alyssa said, breathless. “I-I need to speak to Emma.”

“She’s not here.” Dee Dee paused, then stepped back and ushered Alyssa into the house. “Why don’t you sit down for a moment and tell me what’s going on?”

“I can’t sit. Too much energy. Too angry.” Alyssa paced, her arms crossed, head bowed. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this anymore. My friends are all hostages. We’re all being treated like dogs by our parents. I’m _terrified_ that the woman I love will be killed just for looking at me, let alone everything else she does. I don’t know how to help the people I will one day be baroness for. I _don’t know what to do.”_

Dee Dee grabbed her shoulders, stopping her. “Honey. Sit down.”

Alyssa dropped down into a chair, a sigh of frustration and exhaustion slipping from her lips.

“I know that this isn’t easy,” Dee Dee said quietly. “Believe me. I’ve watched Emma put herself in danger for so long that I’m surprised I haven’t pinned her to the wall by the scruff of that damn cloak of hers and made her stay home for once. But I think what you need to ask yourself is what exactly it is that you want.”

“What I want?” Alyssa laughed. “What I _truly_ want? I want to be with my friends without feeling guilty. I want my people to get the help they need. I-I want…” She rubbed the back of her neck and looked away. “I-I want to be allowed to marry Emma when that time comes.”

Dee Dee gave a small nod. “Okay.”

“Okay? What does okay mean? In this context?”

“I have a few connections that might be able to help. I’ll need to go to them directly, so it will take a few days for me to get there and back. Do you think things can stay in one piece here until then?”

Alyssa shrugged. “What else could go wrong?”

* * *

Emma crouched on a tree branch, watching the road for one of the tax carts. It had been delayed, apparently, but she simply nocked her arrow and waited.

She heard the cart approach, but before she could decide how to proceed, she saw movement below her.

Civilians. They had weapons, some of them little more than shovels, some of them axes and knives.

She realized what was happening a moment before everything fell apart.

The cart came down the path, and the people rushed out at it, some from near Emma, some from the other side of the road, stopping the scared horse in its tracks. Two knights jumped off of the back of the cart, their jerkins covered in thin chainmail and swords attached at their hips.

Emma’s heart sank.

Kaylee and Shelby.

“Okay,” Shelby said, her hands raised in front of her. “This doesn’t need to be a problem. We _need_ to take this money to the baroness, alright? I know that this is difficult, but this _needs_ to happen, or someone is going to get hurt.”

A woman close to her clutched at an ax. “Someone will get hurt. The two of you and that driver if he doesn’t run.”

The man in the driver’s seat of the cart paused and glanced at Shelby. She nodded, and he jumped out of the cart, sprinting back the way they came.

“Look,” Shelby said, her voice still calm and quiet. “We don’t want to hurt anyone. We are just trying to go home.”

“Then leave the money and go, _knight.”_

Shelby swallowed and glanced at Kaylee. “We can’t do that. I’m sorry.”

A man towards the back of the crowd scoffed. “You will be sorry.” He looked around at the rest of his group. “Kill them. Take the gold.”

Emma cursed under her breath as Shelby and Kaylee drew their swords. She released the arrow she had prepared at one of the men with an ax, knocking it out of his hand, then shouldered her bow and jumped onto the road with her sword drawn.

She ducked immediately, out of the way of a shovel.

 _“You!”_ the woman targeting her snarled. _“You’re the cause of this.”_

Emma broke the shovel handle on half with her sword and kicked the woman away, just barely turning in time to avoid an ax aimed at her back.

She could hear more fighting around her as Shelby and Kaylee tried to avoid hurting the mob. Emma punched a man to the ground and whirled around as she heard Shelby scream.

_“Kaylee!”_

Shelby was pinned to a tree, struggling to get her sword raised high enough to push back the man with his hand around her throat, overwhelmed by a swarm of people. Kaylee was on the ground, her nose bloody, clutching at her side. She was visibly in pain as she tried to reach for her sword, and she yelped as the woman standing over her with a large hammer stepped on her wrist.

Emma sprinted forward and hit the woman in the center of her back, knocking her to the side and tumbling into the dirt with her. She threw a knife from the ground and hit the arm of the man holding Shelby, giving her just enough space to shove him off and get her sword back around to push back the crowd.

The crowd started to disperse, scared off by a real fight, and Emma saw two or three bags of gold get stolen out of the cart as they ran. She staggered to her feet, her shoulder aching, and made her way over to Kaylee.

“Get away from her,” Shelby said as walked over, hoarse, a thick bruise around her neck.

“I’m fine, Shel,” Kaylee groaned. “Maybe cracked a rib. Okay. Did you know that being hit with a mallet hurts? It hurts.”

“Should’ve just let them have the fucking gold,” Shelby muttered. “We need to get you back home.” She glanced over her shoulder and saw that, while they were distracted, the horse had run off, taking the cart with it. “Oh, Jesus.”

“You need to go find it,” Kaylee insisted. She sat up slowly, leaning against Shelby. “I’ll be fine.”

“No. You need to get home. I’m not leaving you out here.”

“I mean…” Kaylee glanced up at the thief. “They _did_ save us, Shelby.”

“Absolutely not. I appreciate the help, I’m thankful for it, but I’m not leaving you here.”

Emma closed her eyes and took in a slow breath.

Then she lowered her hood.

“Please, Shelby,” she said softly. “Let me help.”

“Holy… shit,” Shelby rasped.

“E-Emma?” Kaylee blinked rapidly. “I think I must have hit my head.”

“You didn’t,” Emma replied, feeling remarkably calm. “I’m sorry to have to put this on you, but I can help. I can get Kaylee back to the manor, okay?”

Shelby swallowed and looked back down at Kaylee. Kaylee reached up and stroked her cheek, leaning in and kissing her softly. “I’m fine,” she murmured. “Okay? Trust a little.”

“Okay.” Shelby stood carefully, standing close enough that Kaylee could still lean on her legs for support. She met Emma’s gaze, slow and measured. “Alyssa knows,” she said softly. “Doesn’t she?”

Emma gave a small nod. “I-I…” She took in a thin breath. “I love her, Shelby. I know that might not sound like much from me. But I swear to God, I love her with everything I have.”

After a long moment, Shelby held out her hand. Cautious, Emma took it.

“She’s my best friend,” Shelby said, her voice quiet. “If she believes in what you’re doing, no matter how stupid I think it is, I have to at least believe that it’s for the right reasons.”

“I’m as good as I can manage to be.”

Shelby carefully helped Kaylee to her feet, kissing her on the cheek before passing her over to Emma. “So are we.”

* * *

“Can I ask you something?” Kaylee whispered as she leaned on Emma, walking down the path to the manor.

“I suppose.”

“What will you do if the baroness finds you? Finds out about you and Alyssa?”

Emma sighed. “Truthfully, Kaylee, I don’t know. I’d rather die because I spent time with her than live without her.”

Kaylee laughed quietly. “Keep staying stupid romantic shit like that, Nolan, and you’re going to start making the rest of us look bad.”

“You have blood all over your face, Klein, it would be hard for me _not_ to look better.”

Kaylee leaned against her a bit more heavily. “Are you…”

“What?”

Kaylee’s voice dropped to an almost inaudible whisper. “Are you afraid?”

Emma closed her eyes for a moment. “More than I’d ever want Alyssa to know.”

* * *

Alyssa grinned as Emma climbed into her window. “Hey there.”

“Hi,” Emma said, fidgeting with the clasp of her cloak.

“Why do you look nervous?”

Emma paused. “Don’t get mad.”

“That’s a hell of a way to start something,” Alyssa muttered.

“Shelby and Kaylee know who I am.”

Alyssa started at her, frozen. “As in… In what capacity… Know _what?”_

“They know I’m the thief.” Emma rested her hands on top of her daggers. “There was a fight near a tax cart I had originally intended to rob. Civilians attacked it in a mob. Kaylee got hurt. Not badly, but she needed to get out of the area, and Shelby had to go hunt down the horse that had run off. They were scared, and they needed help, and the only way I could gain their trust was to tell them the truth.”

“What… What did they say?”

Emma shrugged. “Not much. But I didn’t feel like they were going to arrest me.” She leaned against the wall and reached up to run her hand through her hair. “All in all, it worked out fairly well.”

_Thud._

Emma looked over at her sleeve, now pinned to the wall by a dagger thrown by Alyssa from the other side of the room. “Oh. You’ve improved quite a bit.”

Alyssa walked over to her, lifted the arm that was free, and took one of the daggers from Emma’s belt. “You’re an idiot.” She drove the dagger into the wall, pinning Emma’s other arm next to her head as well.

“Noted, but what exactly are we doing here?”

Alyssa leaned in, not quite kissing her. “We’ll talk in detail some other time about your poor life choices. For right now, I’m going to kiss you. A lot. And you aren’t going to get to touch me.”

“Oh. That’s, uh… Okay.” Emma cleared her throat. “Before we get into this, there’s a folded up piece of paper in my front pocket. Could you grab that? Don’t open it.”

Alyssa pushed a bit too close in order to remove the piece of paper. “This?”

“Yeah. It’s for you, but I want you to promise me to wait and open it tomorrow morning.”

“Okay. Should I be concerned?”

“It’s fine,” Emma said with a small shake of her head. She snuck a kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Can I convince you to let me open it early?”

Emma smirked. “Not likely.”

Alyssa kissed a spot under Emma’s jaw and heard her take in a sharp breath. “I’ll give it a shot anyway.”

* * *

Emma pulled on her cloak and tossed a bag of gold to Angie. “I forgot to give that to you last night. Send it to the right place.”

“Always do,” Angie said, opening it to count it.

Barry squinted. “Where are you off to this early?”

Emma shrugged casually. “Going to meet a girl.” She paused at the door. “You both know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, right? No matter what, I wouldn’t change any of it.” She gave them a thin smile, nodded, and walked out the door.

* * *

Alyssa opened her note as the sun rose.

_My love,_

_I have never wanted to lie to you, and I would never want now to be when I start._

_If it suits you, please meet me at the gorge at your earliest convenience._

_Everything I do is to try to make you happy. Please remember that._

_Yours,_

_E.N._

Alyssa frowned, rereading the note five or six times until it was memorized. She was about to put it away when her door suddenly swung open.

“Mother!” Alyssa hid her hand behind her back. “I-I… To what do I owe this visit?”

“I wanted to talk to you about the riot at the tax cart. This is not the first time we’ve had civilians in uproar after these tax hikes, and-.” Baroness Greene’s eyes narrowed. “Alyssa. What are you hiding?”

Alyssa swallowed. “Nothing.”

“What is in your hand?”

“Nothing, Mother.”

Baroness Greene stormed forward and grabbed the collar of Alyssa’s jerkin, holding her in place as she ripped the note out of her hand.

Alyssa watched, terrified, as her mother read, her face cycling through confusion and anger multiple times.

“Mother,” Alyssa whispered.

“What is this, Alyssa?” she asked, her voice cold. “Explain to me what this is.”

“Mother, please, I…”

She saw it all click together in the baroness’ eyes. “The stablehand,” she murmured. “You are seeing her. Again. Even after I warned that foolish girl to stay away.”

“It’s _my life.”_ Alyssa took a few steps forward, panicked. _“I_ want to be with her! I don’t care if she’s a noble or not! I _chose_ her!”

Baroness Greene scoffed. “You have responsibilities, Alyssa. They matter far more than some commoner who does not know her place. She has made her mistakes, and now she will simply have to pay for them.”

Alyssa felt the blood drain from her face. “No.” She grabbed her mother’s arm. “No. Mother, please. _Please._ You can’t do this. Please, I beg you, don’t do this.”

Her mother ignored her, pulling out of her grasp and walking to the door. “We will retrieve Emma Nolan today.” She paused. “If you need to prepare yourself for her execution, you have time to do so.”

“Mother, _please!”_

The door slammed in Alyssa’s face, and she heard the deadbolt slide closed over the sound of her heart pounding painfully.


	10. i'm not afraid (i've done the best i can)

Alyssa kicked her door in frustration.

She had to get out of her room. She went over to her window and leaned on the windowsill, looking out. The main method of getting down to the ground, the one she had used as a child, had been a series of bannerpoles in the stone wall. They had been removed years prior, and Alyssa realized, suddenly, that she had no idea how Emma had managed to get up to her window so easily.

She would ask her if she lived.

Alyssa’s eyes widened as one of the hay carts pulled up under her window, and Trent got out of the driver’s seat. He glanced up at her window, winked, and walked towards the Broadway buildings.

That would do it.

Alyssa pulled herself onto the windowsill and dropped down, landing in the cart as she had so many times previously. She jumped out, trying to decide what to do, but a hand smacked over her mouth and an arm yanked her by her waist behind a shrub.

_“Mmfph!”_

“Shut up!” Shelby hissed. “There’s a plan, but we’re kind of making it up on the fly here. You need to be quiet.”

Alyssa nodded, and Shelby released her. “What’s the plan?”

“Depends. Do you know where Emma is? Because your mother dragged Kevin and Nick out of our rooms this morning and told them that they were going with her to hunt her down, no questions. They’re doing everything they can to buy us time, but they won’t be able to delay her for very long.”

“We need to go, now,” Alyssa said, her voice strained. “She’s at the gorge. I need to get to her before my mother finds her and brings her here. I can’t stop this if my mother gets her hands on her.”

Shelby took Alyssa’s hand and pulled her out of the shrubbery, leading her to the stables. “Kaylee’s getting your horse ready. We knew something was wrong.”

Alyssa nodded as Shelby opened the stable doors. “Thank you. I-I was already running out of ideas.”

“You’re the political planning. We’re the action planning.” Shelby winked. “That’s why I’m your pretend captain.”

Alyssa laughed weakly. “Remind me to make that an official title for you if we survive long enough to actually ascend to our roles.”

“You damn well better, m’lady.”

“Here,” Kaylee said, leading Alyssa’s horse toward them and holding out the reins. “Check to make sure everything is tightly secured. My wrist is still screwed up from that fight.”

“We have to- oh, shit.” Shelby, standing in front of the stable door, stared at something out of Kaylee’s and Alyssa’s line of sight. “Kaylee, get in one of the stalls and stay there. Alyssa, you need to go. Now.”

“What?” Alyssa hopped up onto her horse. “What’s going on, Shelby?”

“Your mother must’ve had people checking to see if you were still in your room. Kaylee, they haven’t seen you, _hide!”_

“I can help,” Kaylee protested.

“No,” Shelby said, her voice sharp. “We don’t know what we might need later. I’m just buying time. Now, both of you, _go!”_

Alyssa urged her horse forward and burst out of the stables, looking around long enough to see Shelby draw her sword and engage three of her mother’s knights. Alyssa closed her eyes briefly before turning her head back around and speeding out of the manor grounds.

* * *

She found Emma, in her thief clothes, in the same place they once spoke, looking out into the gorge. The cool morning had brought a thick fog, blocking the river from view and making Alyssa shiver as she half-jumped, half-fell off of her horse and ran over.

“Emma!”

“It’s nice today,” Emma murmured, not turning around. “Most people probably wouldn’t think so, but I can’t help but appreciate it.”

_“Emma!”_ Alyssa repeated, more urgently. She grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face her. “You have to listen to me, right now.”

Emma wouldn’t look at her. “Did you see? The storm brought them over.”

“What…” Alyssa glanced over, noticing that a pile of broken trees had built an almost-bridge across the gorge.

“Funny how that works,” Emma said softly.

“Emma-”

“Take this.”

Alyssa looked down, confused, as Emma pressed a key into her palm. “What is it?”

“If you – or Shelby, or Kaylee, or Kevin, or Nick, anyone you trust – ever needs a place to go. A place to hide when things get bad. The place where you first told me you loved me will always be safe, okay?” Emma swallowed. “I promise you, you can be safe there.”

“That’s nice, but we can talk about it later.”

Emma gave her a soft smile. “She found the note, didn’t she? I thought she might. She’s never given you an ounce of your own space even once in your life. I thought I might have more time, thought I might be able to talk to you first, but it doesn’t matter now.”

Alyssa felt her blood go cold. “Emma,” she whispered. “What are you doing?”

“I told you. I’d do anything to make sure you’re happy.” Emma took Alyssa’s face in her hands, and Alyssa could see tears in her eyes. “Love, you’re never going to be happy if you can’t protect the people you were born to represent. And you can’t do that if both they and your mother are falling apart because I was foolish enough to think that I could make a difference by being a thief.”

Alyssa swallowed, confusion and denial battling her growing realization. “Whatever you think you’re doing,” she said slowly, “it’s not going to make things better. I promise you that it won’t.”

“I was always going to end up paying. I just hoped I’d have more time. I can’t put the villages through this anymore. I can’t put _you_ through this anymore. I have to-”

“Don’t,” Alyssa interrupted, a soft sob in her voice. “I swear to God, Emma, don’t you dare say it.”

“Alyssa,” Emma said, choked and desperate. “Please, don’t make this harder than it already is. You know I’m right.”

“I don’t care. You don’t deserve this.”

Emma leaned in, resting her forehead against Alyssa’s. “This is my fault, Alyssa,” she whispered. “If I had never come back, you could’ve been happy. You can be happy again when I’m gone.”

“You say that as if I ever got over you. I didn’t, Emma. I _couldn’t._ From the first moment I kissed you, you were mine for the rest of my life.”

_Emma? What do you see when you look at the clouds?_

_Just clouds. Why?_

“And you were mine,” Emma murmured.

“I would never give that back. Not one second of it. Not to save me pain, not to save me unhappiness, not to save me the agony of saying goodbye to you. I would rather have loved you than have lived without knowing what loving you is like.”

_I see shapes. Like, look at that one. See that? It looks just like a robin. It’s pretty._

_You’re pretty. …Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I-_

“It won’t be so bad to die. I got the most beautiful woman here before I went. That’s an accomplishment that I can live with.” Emma chuckled softly. “Or, I guess, that I can die with.”

“This is really not the time to make those kinds of jokes,” Alyssa said, even as she gave a weak laugh.

_What… Why did you do that?_

_I-I’m sorry. Should I not have? I-I really wanted to, and you looked-_

_Alyssa. Kiss me again?_

She gripped Emma shoulders tightly and kissed her, as hard as she could manage. “Please,” she gasped as she pulled back, breathless. “Please, just run. It doesn’t have to be like this. It will hurt, I’ll be devastated, but knowing you’re alive will be enough. _Please._ Please, just run.”

“Alyssa. Kiss me again?”

Alyssa swallowed and kissed her, holding Emma where she was as long as she could, until Emma gently pushed her back.

“It’s okay,” Emma murmured. “I’m not afraid. Don’t be afraid.”

They heard the sharp sound of a cart moving through the path towards the gorge, and Alyssa flinched.

“Go, love,” Emma said, her voice still soft as she pulled her hood back up on her head. “You don’t need to see this.”

“No,” Alyssa replied, firm. “I’m not leaving you here.”

The cart stopped nearby, almost scaring off Alyssa’s horse, and Baroness Greene got out with Kevin and Nick.

Baroness Greene walked towards them, her eyes narrowed. “The thief,” she said quietly. “I was expecting a different head today, but I’ll accept what I get.”

Alyssa swallowed. “Mother,” she said, trying to force calm back into her voice “It doesn’t have to be like this.”

Her mother turned to Kevin and Nick, who looked uneasy, their bows tight in their grips. “Kill the thief. Now.”

Alyssa shoved Emma towards the makeshift bridge and tried to get between her and the knights. _“I order you to stand down,”_ she yelled. Behind her, Emma climbed onto one of the fallen trees and scrambled over towards the center, precariously over the gorge. She turned back, presumably unsure, and Alyssa’s voice raised in her panic. “You are _my knights,_ and I _order you not to fire!”_

Kevin and Nick, their bows raised, stopped. “Alyssa,” Kevin said. “I-I… We…”

The baroness rounded on them. “You are her knights, but _I appointed you,_ and _I_ am the one who commands you! Kill that thief, _now,_ or it is _both_ of your heads in their place!”

Kevin, staring at Alyssa, froze, his bow lowering until it was pointed at the ground.

Nick, trembling, aimed at Emma, closed his eyes, and let go of his arrow.

Alyssa spun around, horrified, just in time to watch.

The arrow struck Emma in the chest, just below her shoulder, and Alyssa felt the blow directly in her heart.

“No,” she whispered.

Emma slipped off the tree she was standing on, dropping down several feet and landing hard on a thinner limb below. She struggled to stand, nearly losing her footing, and in the process of regaining her balance, the hood slipped off of her head.

The realization that, now, her mother did know Emma was the thief had only just started to settle in Alyssa’s mind when she heard a sound that she knew would haunt her for the rest of her life.

The crack of the thin branch beginning to break underneath Emma’s weight.

Emma looked up, meeting Alyssa’s eyes and mouthing something that to Alyssa looked like _‘I’m sorry’._

Alyssa screamed, maybe in warning, maybe in fear, maybe just in pure desperation.

The wood snapped.

And then Emma was gone.


	11. take me back to the start (nobody said it was easy)

The edge of the gorge was silent. Alyssa stood, staring down into the fog, her hands clenched at her side.

“Did you know?”

She heard the question, but she didn’t care. The key Emma had given her was still in her grip, and she shoved it into her pocket.

She felt numb.

The baroness grabbed her by the back of her jerkin and turned her around, anger in her eyes. “Alyssa! Answer me! Did you know that girl was the thief?”

“Yes,” Alyssa murmured. “And before you ask, I would never have told you.”

“That girl was dangerous. I had the _right_ to be told-”

“Dangerous?” Alyssa scoffed, still refusing to look at her mother. “She was the only one in this place who was helping anyone.”

“By _stealing?”_

“By _giving.”_ Alyssa met her mother’s gaze, glaring. “All that she has _ever_ done was try to help the people who cannot help themselves. Who don’t have enough of a voice to get the support they need. Who _need_ someone to _help them._ You must be able to look through your own pride long enough to see how bad things are out there? People are starving. People are _dying._ And you just…” She swallowed, her eyes filling with tears. “You killed the person who gave a damn about them.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “You just killed the woman I love.”

Baroness Greene’s eyes widened, and she took a step backwards. “Alyssa, you can’t just…”

“What? _What,_ Mother? Fall in love with a commoner? Fall in love with a _thief?_ That’s too bad, because I already have. I gave her _everything._ _Every_ part of me.”

“A-Alyssa,” Baroness Greene spluttered. She looked over her shoulder, where Nick was knelt on the ground, staring blankly at the makeshift bridge, Kevin’s head bowed and his hand on Nick’s shoulder. The baroness lowered her voice to a hiss. “You can’t mean that-”

“I _do_ mean,” Alyssa said coldly. “She was _mine,_ and you _took_ her.”

Baroness Greene stared at her for a long moment, until she seemed to box up and put away her shock. “You’re hurt, and you’re confused,” she said calmly. “What you saw today was very traumatic, I’m sure, and I understand that you’d need time to process it. You need time to regain your sense.”

“Mother-”

“Sir Nicholas!” The baroness turned, but Nick’s attention didn’t move to her. _“Sir Nicholas!”_

Kevin shook Nick’s shoulder gently. “Nick,” he murmured. “Nick, it’s okay.”

Nick raised his head, slowly, and Alyssa could see that he was on the verge of tears. “What?” he murmured.

“Take my daughter back to the manor. _Now.”_

“I-I… I…”

Alyssa shoved past her mother and walked over to him, crouching down and gripping the shoulder Kevin wasn’t holding. “Nick,” she said quietly.

“Alyssa,” he whispered. “Alyssa, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

She kept her voice quiet as she said, “Nick, it’s not your fault. It’s her fault. It’s her fault, Nick. Come on. We have to go. We have to get out of here, Nick.”

“I-I didn’t know,” Nick stammered as Alyssa and Kevin pulled him to his feet. “I didn’t know it was her, Alyssa, I swear. I would never do that to either of you.”

“I know, Nick. We have to go now.” Alyssa patted him on the shoulder. “Kev, can you get him to the cart? Please?”

“Of course.”

She left Nick with Kevin and walked back to her mother.

“Sir Kevin and I need to talk. He is not to leave.”

“He is coming with us. If you want to speak with him, you can do so at the manor.”

“I-”

“They are _my knights.”_ Alyssa stepped into her mother’s space, her eyes dark. “They are loyal to _me._ You can force them into things they do not want to do because you have the power, but you will not stop me from taking care of what _they_ need right now. You have taken everything else away from me. _You cannot have them too.”_

Baroness Greene stared at her, eyes wide, and she said nothing.

“If you want to get back to the manor, you can take my horse.”

Alyssa turned on her heel and went to the cart, hopping into it as she told Kevin to head home.

* * *

Alyssa walked quickly towards the stables. _“Kaylee! Shelby!”_

_“Alyssa!”_

Kaylee stepped out of the doorway, meeting Alyssa and hugging her tightly. She let out a soft sound of pain, and Alyssa pulled back.

“Your ribs,” Alyssa murmured.

“They’re fine. Just hugged too tight.” Kaylee rubbed her wrist as she glanced around, her eyes wide and scared. “The boys. Where are the boys?”

“I sent them inside. They needed to calm down. Kevin’s okay.”

Kaylee nodded. “Emma?”

Alyssa didn’t answer.

Kaylee swallowed “Oh, God,” she whispered.

Alyssa rubbed at her eyes and looked away. “Where’s Shelby?”

“I-I…” Kaylee cleared her throat. “I don’t… really know for sure? I know she was hurt, but she was alive. They took her towards the cells.” Her voice wavered. “I don’t know what they did with her, Alyssa.”

Alyssa squeezed her shoulder. “I’ll find her. Okay? I’ll find her, I swear.” She took in a thin breath. “I need you to go to the boys. I need you to keep an eye on Nick. If my mother comes for Kevin, do not fight her, but make sure you find out what she’s going to do with him.”

Kaylee stared at her. “Alyssa, what the hell happened out there?”

“Honestly?” Alyssa sighed and shook her head. “I can’t even begin to explain it, Kaylee.”

* * *

“I am going to ask you to leave,” Alyssa said, her voice calm and cold, glaring at the knight blocking her from the stairs down to the cells.

“I was told to keep this door guarded, m’lady. No one through.”

Alyssa narrowed her eyes. “Last I checked, knight, I outrank you. Now _leave,_ before I have it in my mind to make things difficult for you.”

He stared at her for a long moment before nodding and walking away.

Alyssa opened the door and walked down the steps. Most of the cells were empty, except for one, right at the bottom of the stairs. Shelby was sitting on the floor, against the wall right near the bars, her eyes closed and her head back.

“Shelby,” Alyssa said softly. She crouched down next to her, taking in the blood on the other woman’s blue jerkin. “Jesus, Shelby.”

“M’alright, m’lady,” Shelby mumbled. “Just a bit bruised.”

“There’s blood, Shelby.”

“Most of it’s there’s.” Shelby lifted her hand, and Alyssa could see a deep gash in her side. “Some of it’s mine.”

“Oh, God. They haven’t even…” Alyssa closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the bars. “Okay. Okay. Think.”

“Alyssa,” Shelby whispered. “What happened?”

“I just need to think.”

“Alyssa.”

_“No!”_ Alyssa’s eyes snapped open. “No. Please, Shelby. I-I can’t. If I talk about it, if I think about it, I-I’ll…” She swallowed. “I’ll just see her fall. Again. And again. And I can’t do that, I can’t do that, I can’t go through it again, please, I can’t do it, I-”

_“Alyssa!”_ Shelby reached through the bars, grabbing Alyssa’s hands. “Alyssa, breathe. You have to breathe.”

Alyssa took in sharp, panicked breaths. “My mother had her shot. Oh, God, she was hit in the chest, Shelby. She fell into the gorge. There’s no way she could have survived that.”

“A thief like that has to be like a cat, right? Nine lives? She probably hasn’t used them all up.” Shelby sat up a bit straighter and gritted her teeth, a dull groan of pain escaping her lips.

“Stop. Stop, just…” Alyssa took in a deep breath, briefly closing her eyes. “Okay. Okay. I am going to get you out of here. We’re just… We’re just getting out of here. I can’t do this anymore.” She stood and grabbed one of the keys, hanging on a nearby wall. She unlocked the cell and reached down, pulling Shelby to her feet.

“Jesus, Alyssa, warn me.” Shelby staggered, groaning again. “Okay. That hurts more than I thought it would.”

“What was it you told me? Breathe?”

“It’s horrible advice. Thank you for making me aware.”

* * *

Alyssa leaned Shelby against a wall, holding her in place before shouting up the stairs for Kaylee.

When she got to the top of the stairs, she said, “Oh, God. Shelby.”

“Did my mother take Kevin?”

“No. She’s not back yet.”

“Woman never did learn how to ride a horse,” Alyssa muttered. She raised her voice and said, “Get him and Nick. Meet me outside, and bring a blanket.” She patted Shelby on the cheek, just a bit roughly. “Stay awake for me, Captain. I can’t officially promote you if you die on me.”

“You’re annoyingly chipper when you’re in denial,” Shelby mumbled.

“It’s all I have going for me right now.”

* * *

“Where are we going?” Kevin asked as he climbed into the driver’s seat of the cart and Alyssa carefully pulled Shelby in with Nick’s and Kaylee’s help.

Alyssa glanced at Nick, sitting in the corner, staring blankly ahead without speaking. “To the river. The one the bandits typically set up at.”

Kaylee pressed a blanket hard against the gash in Shelby’s side. “What’s there?”

“It’s not what’s there, it’s what it’s near.” Alyssa looked down at the key in her hand. In a soft voice, she said, “A safe place.”

* * *

“In there,” Alyssa said quietly, glancing over her shoulder at her four knights. Kaylee was keeping a careful eye on Shelby, the blanket clutched in her hand, while Nick and Kevin helped her walk.

“What is this place?” Nick asked, his voice far quieter than usual.

Alyssa stared at it for a moment. “Emma’s.” She slid the key in the lock, then held the door open for the others. “Be careful.”

She stepped in, closing and locking the door behind her, and she rested her forehead against the wood, eyes closed, taking in a long, slow breath.

“You all almost look worse than I do.”

Alyssa froze.

She turned, moving so slowly she feels like she’s stuck. Kevin and Nick were standing at a nearby table, Shelby in a chair between them. Kaylee was knelt down next to her, fussing with her wound.

They were all staring at the person slumped half-upright on the floor in the far corner, clothing soaked through, blood on her leg and her face, an arrow still buried in her shoulder.

Emma laughed softly as she met Alyssa’s gaze. “Hi, love.”


	12. never saw the hit at all (i'm broken and beaten)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA: Please don't take medical advice from medieval europe Emma Nolan.

“I don’t know whether to hug you or kill you.”

Emma laughed at Alyssa’s remarkably calm tone. “I probably deserve that.”

Alyssa crossed the room and knelt down next to her, lightly setting a hand on the better of her shoulders. “How?” she whispered. “I don’t understand. I saw you fall.”

“I-I’m not sure. Everything went black when the branch dropped out from underneath me. I know I must’ve hit the water, but I woke up on the shore a few miles downstream.” She gestured at the arrow. “I very much appreciate whatever angle I hit at, because only the fletching broke off. If this thing had snapped inside my chest it would not have been a fun time.”

Alyssa let out a soft, strangled laugh. “Please don’t make jokes. I really can’t handle that right now.” She kissed her on the cheek. “I’m going to get the others settled. And then I’m going to get you patched up. Okay?”

Emma closed her eyes and winced as she tried to sit up more. “What happened to Shelby?”

“Fight.”

“She didn’t look good. There’s bandages in the blue trunk in the corner. You should put her on the bed so that-”

“Hush,” Alyssa murmured, interrupting Emma by lightly setting a finger against her lips. “I’ll handle it. Just stay here.”

* * *

Alyssa set her hand on Kaylee’s back. “How is she?”

“M’fine, Alyssa,” Shelby said through gritted teeth, slumped in her chair with her eyes closed. “Y’can talk t’me.”

“She’s burning up,” Kaylee said softly, stroking her thumb against Shelby’s cheek. “What the hell did they do to her?”

“Nothing. That’s the problem.” Alyssa gripped Shelby’s shoulder. “Kevin. Grab some of the towels from the kitchen. That bucket, too. Do you think you can handle going down to the river and getting water? Anything that might help cool her down.”

He nodded, his eyes set and determined. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He leaned down, pressing a kiss to Shelby’s cheek, then left.

“Nick. Why don’t you and Kaylee get her over to the bed? See if you can at least get her jerkin off of her to give more space to clean the wound.”

Nick patted Kaylee’s arm. “It’s okay, Kay. I’ve got her.” He lifted Shelby up, holding her gently, and carried her over to the bed with Kaylee close behind him.

Alyssa ran a hand through her hair, closing her eyes briefly as she took in a long, slow breath. “Okay. Okay. We can do this. Okay.”

* * *

Emma looked up as Nick walked over to her. He crouched down in front of her.

“Hi,” he said awkwardly.

“Hi.”

“I, uh… I’m… I’m sorry I shot you.”

“It’s fine.” Emma let out a light, scoffing laugh. “I’m sorry you’re such a bad shot.”

Nick blinked at her for a moment, startled, then laughed. “Yeah, well. You’re lucky that Kevin is smart enough to listen to Alyssa. He’s a far better archer than I am.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for the next time.”

“Emma Nolan,” Alyssa said, voice low and serious as she joined them, “if you _ever_ put me through _anything_ like that again, you had better _hope_ you really do die.”

“Noted,” Emma replied weakly.

Nick carefully helped her to her feet. “Couch?”

“That’ll work. Thanks, Nick.” Alyssa squeezed Emma’s hand, then headed for the wardrobe against the wall.

Emma sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh. “Jesus,” she muttered. “I keep forgetting how much it hurts to move.”

Nick flinched. “I-”

“If you apologize again, Nick, I’ll stab you. We’re fine.” Emma met his gaze evenly. “I know what the baroness is like, okay? I know what it’s like to be afraid of dying on her orders. I don’t blame you for that. It’s on her.”

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Alyssa walked back to them, holding a fresh set of clothes. “Nick. Could you come here? I have a job for you to do.”

Emma rubbed a hand over her face, tired, as Alyssa had a quiet conversation. He nodded and headed out of the building as Kevin came back, holding a bucket and dampened towels. The bed was offset from the rest of the room, slightly behind a corner, but she could just see as he joined Kaylee at Shelby’s side, and they carefully began trying to dress her wound and cool her down.

* * *

Alyssa sat down on a small table in front of Emma. “You need to get out of those clothes.”

“You want me to take my clothes off while your friends are here? A lot has changed in the last few hours.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes and glanced over her shoulder. “Hey, guys? Don’t look over here for a few minutes.”

Neither Kaylee nor Kevin even acknowledged her, their attention solely on Shelby.

“I think you’ll be fine,” Alyssa said dryly. “They’re busy.”

“Yeah,” Emma murmured. “But I need to get the arrow out of me first.”

Alyssa’s heart skipped. “Oh, God.”

“It’s not going to be fun for either of us.” Emma closed her eyes, and Alyssa could see her jaw tensing with pain. “You remember what an arrowhead looks like, right?”

“Yeah, but- Oh.”

Emma gave a small, tired sigh. “Yeah. I told you this was going to suck.”

Alyssa undid the clasp of Emma’s cloak and removed it carefully, setting it down on the floor. She flinched as she saw the sharpened stone of the arrowhead sticking out of Emma’s back. “Fuck,” she mumbled.

“You-” Emma cleared her throat and shifted, her eyes closing again, briefly. “You’re going to want to break the arrow into two pieces. As close to the front of my body as possible.” She clenched her jaw. “Then the, uh, fun part, uh, is that the rest of it needs to be pulled out through my back so that arrowhead doesn’t cause problems.”

Alyssa felt the blood drain from her face. “Emma, I-I don’t think I can do that.”

The hand on Emma’s good side came up to grip Alyssa’s shoulder, clutching her clothes tightly. “Alyssa,” she breathed. “Please. _Please._ Every time I _move_ it-” Emma shuddered and bowed her head, a soft moan escaping her lips. She looked back up, and Alyssa could see tears that she had clearly been fighting off for a while. “Please, Alyssa.” Her voice cracked and slipped into a helpless whimper. “God, it hurts so much.”

“Shh,” Alyssa whispered, kissing Emma’s forehead gently. “Shh, darling. It’s okay. Just focus on me, alright? Just look at me.”

Emma forced her eyes open, meeting Alyssa’s gaze. “I’m sorry,” she choked out. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve told you what I was going to do sooner. I should’ve talked to you about it. I’m so sorry.”

“You should’ve. I understand why you didn’t. Both of us are people who are always trying to do what’s best, even if it’s not the right choice in the end.” Alyssa picked up a towel she had left on the table with extra bandages and used it to grip the piece of arrow still protruding from Emma’s chest. “Just, please. Please, understand. You are not at fault for this. I would not have been able to just be happy if you had died. My heart would never have been able to get over you, Emma Nolan.”

“I never wanted to-” Emma broke off with a halted gasp as Alyssa snapped the arrow, only a few inches away from her body. “Jesus Christ.”

Alyssa ignored the sound, checking the break for splinters. “From now on, Emma, we’re doing things together. Do you understand? I don’t care that you’re a thief, I don’t care that you’re a commoner, I don’t care that I’m supposed to become a baroness. If you want to make a stupid decision, I have to agree with it. If I want to make a reckless choice, you have a say in that, too. I changed on that gorge, too. I decided that I wasn’t going to let my stupid fucking birthright tell me who I could and couldn’t love, and I decided that I would no longer allow my mother to be in charge of the lives of my friends. I’m ending this. I don’t yet know how, but I’m _done_ with my mother’s _shit.”_

She kissed Emma, hard, and, while their lips were still together, she reached behind Emma’s back and pulled out the rest of the arrow.

Emma gave a sharp groan of pain, a sound swallowed by another kiss. Alyssa tossed the piece of arrow to the floor and pulled away. She took Emma’s face in her hands, staring into her glazed eyes.

“Hey,” she said gently. “Emma. Look at me.”

Emma met her gaze, her breathing ragged, her entire body trembling.

“I need you to take these clothes off. You’re freezing. You’re going to take them off, and I’ll put bandages on that arrow wound, and you’ll put these new clothes on. And then you’re going to sleep. Do you understand?”

Emma nodded, her teeth clenched shut. After a moment, she whispered, “Alyssa.”

“Yes, love.”

Emma’s voice was small, almost inaudible, and the sound broke Alyssa’s heart. “I… I _am_ afraid.”

Alyssa pressed a quick, soft kiss to her forehead. “So am I.”

* * *

Alyssa sat on the floor, leaning against the couch, listening to Emma’s soft, steady breathing as she slept.

She was exhausted, too, but she couldn’t bring herself to close her eyes. Everything had hit her, suddenly, all at once, and the strength to fight had drained from her body.

She just wanted to go home.

She just wanted to be allowed a normal life.

Alyssa rubbed at her eyes and yawned, squinting to check on the others. Kaylee and Kevin were asleep on the floor, both within reach of Shelby, who was sleeping with a thick bandage on her side.

Sleep would be nice, if she didn’t feel like she had to sit there, in the dark, with one of Emma’s daggers in her grip, waiting for the inevitable to come for them.

Emma whimpered quietly, and Alyssa reached back, threading their fingers together and stroking her thumb against the back of Emma’s palm.

She looked up as she heard a soft knock on the door, and she slowly dragged herself to her feet.

Alyssa walked to the door, dagger in hand, and opened it slowly. She leaned against the doorframe and sighed. “Nick.”

“Hey,” he greeted quietly. “Sorry it took so long. We were waiting.”

Alyssa leaned against Angie as she, Barry, and Sheldon brushed past her into the building. “Waiting? Waiting for who?”

Nick stepped to the side, and Alyssa noticed Dee Dee, standing a few feet back with her arms folded across her chest, next to a man.

Alyssa coughed and stood straighter, her hands brushing clumsily against her jerkin. “I-I… uh… m’lord. I-I apologize. I did not see you there.”

Earl Thomas Hawkins stepped closer, his eyes kind as he looked at her. “Lady Alyssa. Perhaps you should tell me what has happened here.”


	13. stagger to your feet (i was right all along)

Emma opened her eyes to the view of the Earl of Appleton staring down at her. “Oh, God,” she whispered. “I really am going to die.”

Hawkins laughed quietly and took a small step back to give her space. “No, Miss Nolan. You are not going to die.”

Alyssa walked over, helping Emma into a seated position before sitting down on the couch next to her. She adjusted the collar of Emma’s dark purple doublet, the movements fidgety and absentminded as if she were trying to calm her own nerves.

“Your friends have filled me in on most of what has happened up until this point,” Hawkins said. “I figured we could let you rest while we talked.”

“O-Okay,” Emma stammered. She winced and quickly added, “M’lord.”

“There is no need to be so nervous. I have no intention of hurting any of you. If I did, I most likely would not have told Lady Dee Dee where you could find so many of my supply shipments to this area.” Hawkins smirked and turned away, walking over towards Kaylee.

Emma blinked and looked up at Dee Dee. “Wait. Your connections.”

She scoffed. “None of you believed I was a knight. Idiots.”

Hawkins leaned against the wall near Kaylee, watching as Sheldon and Angie checked on Shelby. “How is she doing?”

Kaylee shifted, looking nervous and tired, her hands on her hips. Kevin stood at her side, holding her shoulder tightly. “She has an infection, but they said they knew how to take care of her.”

“She is the heir to Bluestone, correct?”

“Yes, m’lord.”

“Hm. I was just in Bluestone before I began making my way here to Water’s Edge. I spoke to the local lord about some sort of arrangement he had made with the Lord of Madison.”

“O-Oh?”

“Yes.” Hawkins frowned, thoughtful. “I told him in no uncertain terms that such arrangements were not permitted in my province. If he continues to suggest such actions, he will have to deal with me.”

It took a moment for the words to settle on Kaylee, and, when they did, she burst into tears. She turned and buried her face in Kevin’s chest, hugging him tightly and crying.

Kevin held her, softly kissing the top of her head. He looked up at the earl and murmured, “Thank you.”

“What none of your parents seem to have yet realized is that I have been paying attention. _Very close attention._ I have more resources than merely Dee Dee that I can get information from.” Hawkins looked slowly around the room. “Combine that with what you have told me about the baroness’ actions, the taxes, the imprisonment, the attempted executions… I believe that it is more than clear that the leadership found within this barony is not in its actual leaders. The only people who have any sense here are the children – excuse me, you _are_ adults, but you are just so young – who have yet to inherit any of its power.”

He walked back to the couch, his hands interlocked behind his back. “What I _would_ like to know,” he said softly, looking at Emma with curiosity, “is what _you_ have to gain from all of this.”

Emma swallowed. “Me?”

“The knights and the future baroness have stake in this fight. They have a duty to their people, a duty to what they will someday become. What do _you_ have?”

Emma blinked and swallowed again, suddenly nervous, and she only tried to speak once she felt Alyssa squeeze her hand. “I-I guess I… I felt like I had a duty, too, m’lord.”

Hawkins raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“I grew up on the grounds of the manor. My grandmother worked for the household, and eventually I did, too. I’ve known these five for as long as I can remember, and you can’t spend that much time with them without picking up at least a _little_ sense of that responsibility. Then, when the baroness almost had me killed, I just… I decided that the best way to get back at her for thinking that I was nothing was to become something better than she was. If she couldn’t be bothered to help people with the same common blood I had, I’d do it for her. It was better to do something that might change things even for a little while than to give in to how angry I was that night and do something far more stupid.”

Emma let out a soft sigh and looked down at the floor. Alyssa lifted their joined hands and kissed her knuckles softly.

“Dee Dee trained you, if I remember correctly, right?”

Emma looked up at the earl, taken off-guard by the question. “Yes, m’lord. Among others.”

“Good to know.” Hawkins left to talk to Dee Dee.

Emma frowned, narrowing her eyes. “Did you know he was coming?”

“Dee Dee told me she was going to get someone who could help. I just didn’t realize who it was.” Alyssa touched Emma’s forehead briefly and then kissed her cheek. “Your temperature’s back up to normal. I was getting worried. How do you feel?”

“Like I got hit with an arrow and then fell into a river at the bottom of a gorge.”

“So, not bad, then?”

Emma shrugged, winced, and said, “Could be better, could be worse, could be dead.” Her gaze shifted, landing on Barry, who was seated at the table playing a silent game of cards with Nick. “Could you do me a favor? Could you get Barry for me? I’d like to speak with him for a minute.”

“Of course.”

* * *

Barry approached her slowly, sitting down without actually looking at her.

“So,” Emma said.

“So.”

“I guess you figured out what I tried to do. What I was going to do.”

He nodded, his jaw tensing. “Yeah. You said goodbye to me and Angie because you were going to hand yourself over to that… that…” He closed his eyes and took in a deep, calming breath. “Kid, I know how much you care, and I know how hard it has been to watch others suffer because of the actions you took to try to make things better. But that does _not_ mean that you deserve to _die_ for them. Do you understand me?”

“I just don’t know how much else I have left in me, Barry,” she whispered. “Even if the earl pardoned me for being the thief, it wouldn’t stop the baroness from keeping me and Alyssa apart. There’s no way I can go back to stealing and just pretend that everything is the same as it was. My heart can’t take it anymore.”

Barry put an arm around her shoulders and kissed the side of her head. “We’ll figure something out. I promise you. But if so much as _think_ about handing yourself over again, I’ll find a way to hang you by your boots from the rafters, and you can live there like a bat until you come to your senses.”

Emma paused. “I think I’m a little concerned for my safety now.”

“That’s a good thing.”

* * *

Alyssa picked up the cards Barry had abandoned, setting one down to continue the game.

“Are you okay?” Nick asked, taking his turn. “You’ve been so focused on us that I’m not sure you’ve even taken a moment to breathe.”

“I keep seeing her fall,” Alyssa murmured. She glanced over her shoulder at Emma, leaning against Barry and chatting comfortably. “Every time I try to close my eyes for even a few moments, I see her fall. I know she’s here, I know she’s alive, but there’s a part of me that just keeps waiting for her to be taken away again.”

“We won’t let that happen, m’lady,” he said softly. “We won’t. We won’t fail you.” His voice faltered. “I swear to you, I won’t fail you again.”

Alyssa’s eyes softened. “You didn’t fail me, Nick. You didn’t know the truth. I should’ve trusted you all with that.”

“You didn’t owe it to us, Alyssa.”

“I know. But, perhaps, if I had had you all from the start, things would’ve ended differently.” She swallowed. “If Shelby doesn’t…”

Nick reached across the table and took her hand. “Shelby will be fine. Okay? Do you really think she’d pass up the opportunity to kick my ass for being stupid? She’ll probably pull herself back from the brink just to slap you and Emma upside the head for getting caught.”

Alyssa laughed, a soft, choked sound as she sniffed and kept herself from tearing up. “This is very true. And Sheldon and Angie _do_ know what they’re doing.”

“See? She’ll be alright.” Nick paused, putting down another card. “Alyssa, I… I had a thought. About a way to bring an end to this. But it’s a little bit crazy, and I would need you and Emma to trust me.”

“I trust you. I think Emma does as well, but why don’t you tell me what your idea is, first?”

“Well, I think that…”

Alyssa heard Nick break off as she looked away from him, distracted as Hawkins turned away from Dee Dee and walked back across the room to Emma.

“I have a question for you,” Hawkins said, looking down at Emma with a strange intensity. “A follow-up to my interest in where you get your sense of duty. A few things have me curious.”

Barry shifted away from her to give her some space, and Emma straightened in her seat. “Of course, m’lord.”

“I am sure I already know the answer, but would you give your life for the people in the barony?”

“Yes, m’lord.”

“Would you protect Lady Alyssa, future Baroness of Water’s Edge, to whatever end?”

Emma’s gaze briefly flickered over to Alyssa, and Alyssa felt a strange uptick in her pulse. “Yes, m’lord.”

“Do you hold yourself, to the best of your ability, to a standard of justice and nobility?”

Alyssa heard Nick whisper a stunned, “Oh, _holy shit!”_

“I… try to, m’lord?”

“Yes or no, Miss Nolan,” Hawkins said calmly.

Emma’s brow furrowed. “Yes, m’lord.”

The realization of what was happening hit Alyssa suddenly, a deep thud of shock straight in the center of her chest that knocked the air out of her lungs.

“Miss Nolan,” Hawkins said, his voice still calm and quiet. “This is very important. You need to understand the significance of what I am about to ask you, okay?”

Emma nodded, confusion in her eyes.

“If you answer ‘yes’ to my next question, you will have sworn yourself as a knight of Water’s Edge.”


	14. if i could find a way to see this straight (life's too short)

“Will you swear loyalty to the barony of Water’s Edge, until your final breath and beyond?”

Emma was quiet, looking down at the floor. When she looked up at Hawkins, she said, in a voice barely a whisper, “Could I talk to Alyssa before I answer?”

A small smile curved at the edge of Hawkins’ mouth. “Of course.”

Alyssa stood and walked away from the table, glancing awkwardly at just how many people were watching them. She knelt on the couch next to Emma and gripped her sleeve. “What are you doing?” she hissed.

Emma rested a hand on top of hers and looked at her, hesitation in her eyes. “You said we’d do things together,” she murmured. “And I know the weight of what this means, Alyssa. I know what it could mean for us.”

Alyssa swallowed and nodded, her heart beating so hard she swore it would burst. “Yes. I do, too.”

“I-I… I could be your knight even if you didn’t want to be with me. I’d do anything for you. But I don’t want to agree to this if you don’t want me to.”

Alyssa took Emma’s face in her hands and kissed her, hard and as long as she could with so many people waiting for them. She rested her forehead against Emma’s and whispered, “Say yes. Say yes, you idiot. And when all of this is over, I will, too.”

Emma pulled back, blinking, her eyes wide. “Wait, are you-”

“Oh, for hell’s sake, Nolan,” Shelby groaned, squinting at her from the bed. “Will you just put us all out of our misery and finish your oath?”

Emma grinned and looked back up at Hawkins. “Yes, m’lord. I swear it.”

* * *

They decided to wait until the night was through before they discussed their next steps.

Emma laid on the couch, her eyes half-closed, hand gently playing with Alyssa’s hand as she laid on the floor next to her.

“Still think you should take the couch,” Emma murmured.

“You were hit with an arrow and fell into a gorge. Shut your stupid mouth.”

“Why don’t you come up here and shut it for me?”

“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Think you’re real clever with your-”

Alyssa made a muffled squeak of surprise as a pillow flew from the other side of the room and smacked her in the face.

“Are we sure you two aren’t _already_ married?” Kaylee asked with a yawn as she set her head back down on the solid floor without any remorse.

* * *

“Nick, you were saying something last night about having a plan?” Alyssa said as she helped Emma to her feet the next morning.

He thought for a moment before shaking his head. “No. There are way better plans now that Emma won’t get hanged for sleeping with you. I was gonna have like one of us bring her back as a fake ploy while someone hid in a woven basket and then jumped out and-”

Alyssa held up a hand. “You know what? Remind me later that this is why you’re not supposed to make plans.”

“That’s fair.”

“The earl’s pardons protect Emma, Shelby, and Kevin from any repercussions if my mother decides to try to pursue them further.” Alyssa shook her head. “But it’s not about that anymore.” She looked at Emma, hoping she understood, and she felt a rush of relief when she nodded. “I’m going to the manor.”

 _“We’re_ going to the manor,” Emma corrected firmly, taking her hand. “At the very least, let me see the look on your mother’s face when she finds out I’m still alive.”

“I _should_ at the very least grant you that right. She _has_ tried to kill you more than once.” Alyssa walked to the other side of the room and set her hand on Shelby’s forehead. “How are you feeling?” she asked quietly.

Shelby sighed. “Tired, but okay. Angie said another hour in that cell probably would’ve…” She closed her eyes and swallowed.

“Shh,” Alyssa murmured. “You’re here and that’s what matters.” She crouched down, lowering her voice to a whisper. “Thank you. If I hadn’t had the time to get out there, if my mother had found Emma first, I know I would’ve lost her. I owe you and Kaylee both for that.”

Shelby let out a soft laugh. “Just don’t yell at me when I kick Emma’s ass. You did promise me a promotion, and that puts your newly-knighted girlfriend under _my_ command. Rookie has to sharpen all the swords and string all the bows.”

Alyssa grinned. “Enjoy it while you can. I think ‘consort’ is a higher rank than ‘captain of the guard’.”

“Damn you. You take away all my fun.”

“You’ll _officially_ be able to boss around _both_ of your partners _and_ Nick.”

Shelby raised an eyebrow. “That’s a very good point.”

* * *

Emma watched Alyssa’s frown as she fussed with the knots of Emma’s dark blue jerkin. She fixed the collar, then straightened out her gray doublet sleeves.

“You’re nervous,” Emma murmured.

Alyssa was silent until she finished, then she kissed Emma softly. “She’s my mother. No matter how hard she has made my life, a part of me is never going to want to do or say anything that will hurt her.”

Emma stroked her cheek and pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth. “This isn’t about her, love. That’s all you can do, remember that it’s not about getting revenge on her. It’s about doing what we know is right.”

“I know. It just doesn’t make it hurt less.” Alyssa stepped back, allowing Emma to take in her black jerkin and bright blue doublet. “Are you ready?”

“Yes. As long as you are.”

Alyssa reached out and took Emma’s hand. “I am.”

* * *

They walked into the audience chambers of the baroness, side by side, Emma’s hand resting loosely on her sword and Alyssa’s chin raised with defiance.

Baroness Greene looked up from her seat. “Alyssa! I did not know where you had-” She noticed Emma, and went pale. _“You!”_ she whispered, her eyes widening. “But… that’s not possible.”

“Kill people yourself,” Emma replied casually.

 _“Knights!”_ Baroness Greene yelled at the door. “There is a fugitive in here!”

“Oh, they aren’t coming,” Alyssa said. “They have been reassigned to a different location in the manor. I will decide whether or not they remain here at all.”

The baroness scoffed. “You do not have any say in that. _Knights!”_

“They’re not coming.” Emma took a step forward. “They were ordered not to, by Earl Hawkins.”

A long pause filled the room. “No; he would not do that.”

“He has, Mother. He has pardoned Emma and the others, and he has ordered your knights to step aside while we talk.” Alyssa set her hand on Emma’s shoulder. “As I will do.”

Emma glanced at her, waiting for Alyssa’s nod of confirmation, then shot a small glare at Baroness Greene before stepping back out of the chambers.

“You dare to call that thief a knight?” the baroness whispered.

“She rightfully is one,” Alyssa replied. “Trained by a knight, taught conduct by a knight, sworn to the oath of Water’s Edge by the earl.” She paused. “Sworn to _me.”_

“And what will you do with her?” Baroness Greene scoffed. “Is that what all of this is, Alyssa? Your grand presentation? Are you here to announce to me that the commoner you tarnished yourself with tricked her way into just enough nobility that she can fool you into giving her your name?”

“I thought I’d take hers, actually. I’m quite tired of the one I inherited from you.”

Baroness Greene got to her feet. “I will not have you disrespect your own bloodline. As long as I am baroness, I will _not_ approve of-”

“That is why I am here, Mother.”

Alyssa closed her eyes briefly, taking in a long breath. When she opened them, she continued.

“I have discussed this with the earl, and I have discussed this with my knights. We have come to the conclusion that your rule over this barony is not what is best for our people. You refuse to acknowledge the problems taking place right under your eyes. Your policies are doing nothing but damaging the very foundation of the community we are supposed to be protecting. I will not stand for it.” Alyssa paused, watching the anger and shock burn on her mother’s face. “I am asking you to step aside, Mother. For the good of this barony, and the good of us all.”

For a long moment, neither of them spoke. They simply stared at each other, silent, mirrored stances and clenched fists.

“This is a coup,” the baroness murmured. “You are… My own daughter is… For _what?”_

“I do not wish to hurt you, Mother,” Alyssa said. “I want this to be a better place for the people who live in it. It is time you let me strive for that.”

Baroness Greene turned away from her and headed back to her seat. “I will not hand my rule over to a _child._ I-”

She yelped as a dagger embedded in the wood of her chair, an inch from her head. Alyssa rested her hands on her belt, next to her empty scabbard.

“If it is a fight you want, Mother,” she said softly, “we will give it to you. I will. My knights will. I know the earl is on my side as well. But it does not have to be like that, Mother. I don’t want this to end with any more pain or any more suffering. I just want to be happy.”

She paused, walking up and yanking her dagger back out of the chair, ignoring the baroness’ flinch.

“I hope you will be happy with your choice, too, Mother.”

Alyssa slid her dagger into its scabbard, turned, and walked out of the chambers.

* * *

* * *

**_[OUTRO]_ **

Lady Emma Nolan, knight of Water’s Edge, future consort of the Baroness of Water’s Edge, was one risky trick shot away from being murdered by her own fiancée.

“If you shoot _one more arrow_ at Nick’s head, Emma, I will come down there and-”

“And what?”

Alyssa paused, clenching her teeth to stifle her laugh as Emma looked up at her, smirking, cocky amusement in her eyes.

“You know what? I’ll just wait until we’re alone later. You’ll regret it when we’re in bed.”

Emma gave her a look of mock offense. _“M’lady,_ such language! What will the other knights think of me?”

“We already know you two are disasters,” Nick said casually, leaning back in his chair and poking straw at something that looks like a melted candle. “It’s not surprising us.”

Alyssa leaned further against the railing of the balcony. “Nick, what are you even doing?”

“Basket-weaving.”

Emma stared at him. “That’s… a basket?”

He held it up, proud. “Yeah!”

Emma blinked, looked briefly up at Alyssa, then turned and walked over to where Kaylee and Kevin were having archery practice.

She started talking to them in a hushed voice as Shelby joined Alyssa at the railing, adjusting her sword belt.

“Captain,” Alyssa greeted with a sly smile.

“M’lady. Are you going to say that _every time_ I see you now?”

“For at _minimum_ the rest of the year.”

Shelby rolled her eyes good-naturedly and squinted at the trio in the archery training circle. “What are they up to?”

“Well,” Alyssa sighed. “If I had to guess, I think she’s teaching them trick shots?”

Shelby snorted. “That’s just what we need.”

Emma adjusted Kaylee’s grip on her bow and then pulled something out of her pocket. “Ready?” she said, loud enough that Alyssa and Shelby could hear. “3, 2, 1-”

She threw something in the air, small and glittery, and all three of them drew back arrows and released them at the same time. Emma ran over to where the object had fallen and jumped up into the air with a gleeful laugh.

 _“It worked! It actually fucking worked!”_ she yelled.

Emma picked up the object, and Alyssa’s jaw dropped as she realized that she was holding a gold coin with three arrows embedded in the small surface. Kevin and Kaylee shouted in excitement and ran over to Emma to take a closer look at their handiwork.

“Oh, God,” Shelby whispered next to her. “What have we created?”

* * *

In the darkness of night, Alyssa finished changing into her nightgown and walked over to the windowsill.

Emma sat in silence, looking up at the stars, her gaze unfocused.

“Hey,” Alyssa murmured, setting a hand on Emma’s knee. “Are you okay?”

Emma grinned at her. “I’m perfect.” She reached up, lightly touching the stone necklace around Alyssa’s neck. “Sometimes I just… I still can’t believe I’m here. Alive. With you.” She pulled Alyssa’s hand up to her and kissed her palm. “I can’t imagine the life I would have had if I hadn’t come back.”

“You did. That’s what matters.”

“I love you,” Emma said softly.

“I love you, too.” Alyssa tugged on Emma’s hand, pulling her out of the windowsill. “Come to bed, my love. There’s a lifetime for thinking about ‘what if’. I’ve decided that tonight is only for the two of us.”

Emma smiled, allowing Alyssa to pull her. “Well. I _am_ sworn to follow you, m’lady. It would be foolish to question that now, wouldn’t it?”

She laughed, high and happy and carefree, and picked Alyssa up at her waist as they stumbled, giggling, together.


End file.
